The Hurkyferd Prettacy

An ISBI Prettacy

Chapter 0.2 – Creeper Mailman

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Welcome back to the Hurkyferd Prettacy.  Last time, we met Opus and Gertrude Hurkyferd.  Our Legacy founders who will be doing their best to produce a, let’s say –  unfortunate looking Sim in Generation 0 so that when we truly start trying to improve the gene pool, it is as hard as possible.  Opus got a job at the Plumbob Pictures backlot, hopefully on his way to his LTW of becoming a Superstar Actor and Gertrude joined the Culinary career to work towards a LTW of 5-Star Chef.

———-

When we left the young couple, they were snuggling on the bed after an interesting visit from the Starlight Shores Welcome Wagon.  The next morning, Gertrude hops out of bed before sunrise.

Gertie:  “Ooooh.  That Kirsten Law wasn’t kidding when she said she took the good stuff out of my basket.  I think she gave me a bunch of that e coli-laced lettuce or something.”  *stomach rumbles and churns* “Either that or it was that possum pie I had for breakfast back in Twinbrook before we hit the road.”

———-

She suddenly takes off out the backdoor of the little house, running down the driveway.

Gertie: “Sometimes when my stomach feels like this, I run in my Formal clothes. I find the pain of having my feet jammed into high heels from the force of my own body weight being slammed repeatedly over and over takes my mind off the ache in my belly.”

Yeah, that’s one way to do it.  Another is to grab some antacids.

———-

Gertie stops on the front porch.  Effectively having gone from one door to another.  And glitches her elbow through her “formal” dress before suddenly discovering quite the stench.  (Note:  There was nothing around her to make her do this.  I checked her inventory as well and nothing was stinky or spoiled.  In fact, I just had started this save file and this was truly only the second Sim morning I’d played the Hurkyferds)

Gertie:  “Urgh.  Boy does that slap you in the face! Truth be told,  I’ve got some serious gas issues going on right now.  Phew!  I could stink up a room faster than a bag of old shrimp.  Papa would be proud.  Back hone we used to try and stench each other right out of the house” .

Or Gertrude, you are perfect for reality TV.

Gertie:  “Don’t I already know it!  Besides, Mamaw always said, ‘the stronger the stink the better the meal’!  That means the meal was great.  Get it?”

*stares*

———-

By the time she gets inside and freshens up for the day, Opus has already grabbed a quick bowl of cereal and headed to his first day at work.  Gertie has to get her Cooking Skill up, so she makes herself some pancakes.

Gertie:  *pops left shoulder into impossible position*  “I have the best homemade pancake recipe.  It was Granny Jean’s, Opus’ grandmother’s recipe.  I have to ask you to turn off that camera now, due to it being top secret and all.”

Yeah, no.  Anyway, Gertie makes a huge batch of pancakes and even though it is only the second thing she’s ever cooked, she doesn’t burn them.  Gotta loooove those Natural Cooks.  And Now that I am writing this, I so am craving pancakes in a bad way. *drools on keyboard*

Because, really, who doesn’t love pancakes?

Aw, poor J.D.  No smiley face pancakes for him that day!

Back to our Legacy.

———-

After making her pancakes, Gertie is eating when suddenly I see something pop into her queue.  I hover over it and it says “Shoo Peeping Sim”.  I was like “whaaaat”?  I scroll around the house to see this:

I didn’t catch a picture of it but he was just leaving the window!  I got him as he ran away, the coward.

Creeper Mailman: “Oh, I’m glad that scary orange lady didn’t catch me.  Hey, my breath blowing back in my face smells minty fresh.  Thanks, toothpaste!”

This town, I tell you.  It is going to drive me to move my legacy yet!

———-

After breakfast, Gertie changes into her work outfit but then proceeds to sit down and read a book, ignoring the honking carpool sitting outside waiting to take her to her first day at the restaurant in the Starlight Shores Corporate Building.

Gertie: “Oh, this Shades of Grey novel is so naughty!  Its making me all flushed and tingly.  I can’t wait to get home from work tonight.  Opus and I are going to get all -“

*claps hands over ears*  LALALALALALALAI’MNOTLISTENINGLALALALALALA”

Don’t you think you should be on your way to work?

Gertie:  “What?  Oh, no.  I still have 17 minutes.”

Yes, but you are a Sim.  It will take you 15 minutes just to put the book down and jog to the car.

———-

Off she goes to start making this Legacy some Simleons, thank goodness.

Gertie:  “Aw, tiny baby in my belly.  I love you already.”

o_O  Gertie!  You only worked for like 5 Sim minutes.  Really, she walked into the building, I started to pan the camera away and thought I saw her come back out so I scrolled back over, and there she was!  Then she changed clothes and, well, that leaves us right here. She got paid $12 Simoleons.  That will buy what, half a steak?

Gertie: “Opus called and asked me to meet him at the Karaoke Bar down the street.  I can’t wait to tell him about the baby!  Plus, the restaurant told me I get maternity leave pay!”

Wow.  you only worked there for like, 2 seconds.  I wish real life was like that!

———-

Gertie heads down to the Karaoke bar.  In true Sims style (ha, no pun intended) she is wearing some wonky looking nightgown and still has her strange work skully-cap hair.

Gertie:  “OMG, will you get this hat off my head?  I despise it. Its ruining my pouf and cramping my style.  In fact, I think it is trying to kill me.” *gives death stare to skully cap*  “I think this was made by those half Llama people. ”  *panics*    “Maybe it is reading my thoughts!”

Insane Sims, gotta love them!  *waves magic Master Controller Stylist wand*  There you go Gertie.

———-

Meanwhile. Opus is singing away on the Karaoke stage with some random townie.  Actually, once I click on his Relationship Panel, I see it is one of his coworkers. But I forgot to write down her name.  *slaps own hand – bad Legacy Writer!*

Opus: “Don’t go breaking my heart…”

Co-Worker: “I couldn’t if I tried…”

Random Sim in Bar: “BOOO!! You suck!  Get off the stage!”

Sims are so rude sometimes.  *clicks on Random Rude Sim and gives him that horrible shaved hair with the patterns in it and a pair of overalls*  Mwahahaha!  Revenge is mine!  Now who else wants to insult my Legacy Founders?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  I handled that dude, like a boss!

———-

Gertie and Opus head upstairs and go into the Photo booth autonomously.  Their pics end up really cute:

It totally looks like Gertie is giving us the bird in the pic on the left- top left corner doesn’t it? Naughty Gertie!
———-

I sent Opus to the bar to try and meet celebrities but no one had any celebrity points so I left them on high free-will and let them do what they wanted.  After the photo booth, they played pool for a while.

Gertie:  “Urgh.  I smell something.  I think that possum pie is coming back -“

No Gertrude! Not again. I have a limit of one bodily function joke per Legacy, thank you very much!

———-

The next few days pass without anything major happening.  Opus goes to work and comes home every.single.day with all the stress moodlets in the game.  No matter how high his Needs are when he goes to work, he is off the charts with stress each night when he returns.  This means he stays at the bottom of his career even though he’s gotten a few charisma points. Gah!

Opus:  “See Larry, I just can’t stand that director.  He’s got eleven cats and I just cannot handle another afternoon spent rolling the lint off his wardrobe.  Even his Plumbob has lint on it” *sighs*  “Oh flipflop, just talking about it I can feel myself starting to panic.  I’m so glad the day is over and I can go home and relax.”

Larry: “Opus, I just picked you up.  Its only 8:45 AM.  We haven’t even started work for the day.”

Opus:  *chokes*  “I need some coffee.”

Poor Opus.  it will get better, I promise!  (yeah, no it won’t, not for a looooong time, but I am getting ahead of myself)

———-

Gertie spends her days fulfilling wishes and skilling up for when she goes back to work.  They do not have any money at all.  In fact, in order to buy the bare minimum for the baby, I had to sell some of their furniture from the house and take down a few inside walls.  But, that worked and they get a crib, highchair, potty, and both little skill toys for the baby.  Gertie has a good pregnancy.  She rolls wishes to read pregnancy books and to have Opus do the same.  So, off she goes to the library since we are broke and can’t drop $270 Simoleons , or whatever it is, on a book.

Gertie:  “I was excited to be pregnant until I started reading this book.  I mean, two hours of labor?  That sounds painful!”

Yeah, try 34 hours, then we’ll talk.

Gertie: O___o

Oh, to be a Sim.

———-

Since they have money troubles, I send Gertie around town looking for seeds so Gertrude can start a garden in their little back yard.

Gertie:  “Should  I really be doing this?  I AM pregnant after all, remember Producer lady?  Seems like I should be somewhere with my feet propped up and Opus rubbing my bunions”

Ugh.  But yes, I know you are with child.  And there is no reason why you can’t garden.  It’s good for you.  Think of the fresh, organic food you’ll be feeding your child.  And the money we’ll be saving on food bills.

Gertie:  “Hmm. I guess.  But really, can I just go back to the library?  It has air-conditioner and nice fluffy couches!”

Nope.  Keep picking.  Bananas are filled with potassium, great for growing babies!

———-

I send Opus to the karaoke bar again to try and meet some people to practice his charisma, fill some wishes and try and get a celebrity point.

Opus:  “Booo!  You suck!”

Opus Hurkyferd!  That is rude! I just gave that townie Sim a deliberately bad makeover for doing the same thing!

Opus: “Welll, it won’t be so easy with me, I mean I’ve got these natural good looks.  you could put anything on me and I would still look the same.”

I’d have to agree with the last part of that statement, yes.  XD

———-

When I scroll back to Gertie, she is doing this:

Is that your picnic basket, because I don’t remember buying one.

Gertie:  “Heck no, these things are expensive!  Some couple laid this out, then went to use the port-a-potty so I decided just to help myself.”

Gertie!  You’re picnic-crashing!

Gertie:  “Doesn’t the watermelon look delicious?”

Way to dodge the issue, Gertie.

———-

And that is all we have for this time.  Next up:  A baby!  Who will start Generation 1 of the Hurkyferd Prettacy?  Will he/she be our heir? Will Gertie ever go back to work?  Will Opus ever stop being a stressed-out mess at the end of the work day?  Join us again and find out.
Thanks for reading and hey,  leave me a comment if you do.  I’d love to  hear from you 🙂

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9 thoughts on “Chapter 0.2 – Creeper Mailman

  1. I’m really enjoyed what you have so far, can’t wait to see just how ugly the baby will be. 🙂

    • Thanks for reading! Very much appreciated. It is strange trying for ugly Sims because I normally try for the opposite, you know? But I have to say it is a refreshing change.

  2. Great second chapter! Your commentary is hilarious!

  3. I’ve enjoyed this chapter! 🙂

  4. I have FINALLY gotten a chance to start reading this again. omg I don’t know how I managed to keep away from it for so long. It’s so entertaining!

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