The Hurkyferd Prettacy

An ISBI Prettacy


Hiatus Apologies! And a Small Update

Hello there!  I don’t normally write non-Hurkyferd posts but I wanted to update on what was going on.  I’ve been really sick – several surgeries and a zillion rounds of antibiotics later and I am slowly starting to be on the mend 🙂  I haven’t even touched my Sims in what feel like forever, so no Hurkyferd updates.  However, I can say I am starting to feel better and even starting to feel like writing and playing a little.  Thank you to all of you who commented while I was gone.  I am going to be making my way through comments and also making my way through my favorite Blogs so I can catch up with all your stories.  Might give me a little inspiration to boot 🙂


Don’t worry – Gertie and Opus are anxiously awaiting their return to their “reality show”  🙂  Ty for reading and I’ll have a new update within the next few days.


Chapter 0.9 – Torture Math

Chapter 0.9 of the Hurkyferd Prettacy is on tap!  To review where we were last time – Uli had her childhood birthday as did her IF Ukelele, Gus skilled some more and baby Atticus was born.


Another day in the Hurkyferd house.  Opus comes home from work and makes a beeline for little Gus.  Since Gertrude spends so much time in the garden these days, I’ve made a little skill area off to the side for the kids with the Toddler skill books and toys, as well as a little potty.

Opus:  “How’s my little man?”

Gus:  “Me hewp mama in garden!”

Yeah, I’m not sure why Gus is skilling in that picture, or what he is skilling on?  As far as I know Toddlers don’t skill from being held but okay.

Opus: “You’re getting so big Gus!  Soon Daddy won’t be able to hold you!”

Could that be foreshadowing??  Dun dun duuuunnnnn! Seriously, though, Opus is an amazing father.  He is full of autonomous actions for his kids.  Its very sweet.


Gertie wraps up a marathon gardening session.  (BTW, that is the Creeper House in the background – see the giant Robot in the backyard?  If you have Starlight Shores, go check it out – inside and outside.  I wasn’t kidding – it is creeeeeeeepy!)

Gertrude:  “So I was thinking, I’m not so worried about my Lifetime Wish anymore.  Can I pleeeeassse quit my job?”

You still have a job?

Gertie:  “Of course I do!  I’m still upset about that awful skully cap I have to wear.  It ruins my bump.”

Its been so long since Gertie’s been to work, I totally and completely forgot she even *had* a job.  But no, Gertie, you can’t quit. We need that 100 Simoleons of maternity pay I obviously ignored the pop-ups for – most certainly if you guys are going to move ANYTIME soon.

Gertie:  “You know, I really should be living in one of those mansions up in the Starlight Shores Hills.”  *sighs*

We should all be Gertie, we *all* should be.


Uli continues to be the child I love the most of any Sim child I’ve ever had.

Yes!  A child that autonomously cleans!

Uli: “Mr. Plate needs to be washed.  Did you know the chemical compounds in the dish soap break down the binding agents of the rendered fat from the shortening in the cake frosting, therefore causing them to dissolve?  However -“

*Headspin*   She’s a smart little cookie, too!  Now lets see if she can figure out how to GET IN THE FLIPPIN’ SHOWER!  She still hasn’t taken a shower.  Notice the green cloud still hovering around her.



Gertrude is doing a great job with little Atticus.  In fact, he is the only baby so far that she rolls daily wants for.  Cuddling, etc – she’s all about the Nooboo.

Gertie:  “Aww, I’m sorry I wished you were a little girl, Atticus.  Now be a big boy and drink your Mountain Dew!”

Hey – babies shouldn’t be drinking soda!

Gertie: “I know, I’m joking.  Although  – can you stop the Plumbob camera for a minute now?”

Suuuuuure.  *crosses fingers behind back* Its off.  Go on.

Gertie:  “If I wasn’t on this here reality show, I wouldn’t hesitate to use my mama’s ways.  You know, she used to put coffee in our bottles to keep us up during the day so we’d sleep at night.  And we started drinking pop real early.  And we all turned out just fine.  So, don’t be giving me lectures on what to give babies.”  *tosses hair*  “Why I was eating fried steak and 6 eggs every day for breakfast before I even said my first word. “


Gertie:  “What?  I was born with all my teeth!  Doc Turner said he’d never seen nothing like it!”

Gertie, there is no one like you in the world, I just know it.

Gertie:  “Perfection is a rarity, you know.”

Oh yes, you go girl!


Ukelele continues to make things hard for me, although Uli loves it.

Ukelele:  “I know its almost 11 PM on a school night, but I’ve been thinking that we haven’t spent enough time together.”

Uli:  “I know!  10 hours of tag just isn’t enough!  I’m so glad I have you, Ukelele.  My dad is so busy with work and my mom with the babies and her garden.”

Yes, I am glad Uli has Ukelele for her social, too.  HOWEVER, school starts tomorrow and I’m serious about Uli getting her homework done, now.  We don’t want to see the Social Worker for failing grades.


Fast forward to 12:30 AM….

Uli:  “Phew!  I gotta catch my breath.”  *pants*  You got me that time Ukelele!”

Ukelele:  “You’re it!”

Uli: “I guess.”  *yawns*  “I’m so tried.  You think maybe we should go to bed?  I do need to go to school in the morning.”

Ukelele:  “Okay, maybe we should go in the house, then.”


Ukelele:  “And have a pillow fight!”  *runs off*  “Last one inside is a dirty egg!”



Gertie finishes up a midnight feeding for baby Atticus and realizes Uli isn’t in the kid’s room.

Gertie:  “Uli!  Its almost 1 in the morning!  Get on in the house and go to bed.  And who in the world were you talking to?”  *gets paranoid*  “It wasn’t the trees or someone who looked like a llama, was it?”

Uli:  *giggles*  “No, mama.  It was just my Imaginary Friend, Ukelele!” *pulls out doll*  “See?  He’s right here.”

Gertie: “Uli, that’s just that weird looking doll Opus’ great-great Aunt Bertha sent for you when you were born.  Now, stop this silliness and come in in the house!”

Uli:  “No mama, Ukelele is REAL.”  *pouts*  “This is just his doll form.”  *puts doll on ground*

Ukelele:  *pops into air*  “We pillow fighting now?”

Gertie:  “Uli May Hurkyferd.  You stop this foolishness right now.”

Uli:  “Well, maybe if you and dad spent more time with my, I wouldn’t have to have an Imaginary Friend”

Ukelele:  “Hey, I’m real, hello?  Remember me?  We were going to pillow fight?”

Gertie:  “Oh, Uli.  Mama’s sorry if you are lonely.”  *hugs*  “You’re my specail little girl, you know that?”

Uli:  *hugs*  “Thank you mommy, I love you!”

Gertie:  “Enough to let mama sign you up for the Girlz Glamour-n-Glitz pageant next weekend in Bridgeport?”

Gertie!  Way to ruin a tender moment there.

Uli:  “Aw, mama I hate all that stuff.”


The next morning Gertie has a breakdown.

Gertie: “OMG, my little girl is all grown up!  I can’t believe she is already going to school!”

She sure is, but I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about. She is a smart as they come.

Gertie: “No, you don’t understand.  I’m talking about ME!”  *hyperventilating*  “All my babies are going to start getting big.”

Yes, that is what happens.  Not sure where you’re going with this…

Gertie:  “Duh!  Wrinkles!  This beautiful, tan gorgeous skin – ruined by wrinkles and saggy bits and urgh.  I think I am going to be sick!”

SMH.  Gertie, we all get older.  There’s not much we can do about it.  Embrace it!  Besides, you haven’t even had your Adult birthday yet.  Relax before you whip yourself into a Joan Rivers-like frenzy and end up with your face pulled so tight you need someone to slap you in the back of the head to blink.

Gertie: “I think I need to get some more sun to make myself feel better.”

I’m not even going to say anything.


I go to check on our little school girl and find this.  Of course!

Uli:  “Ooooof”

Ukelele: “Gotcha!  Let’s see if we can beat our record and play tag for 11 hours today!

Uli:  “Haha Ukelele.  But I can’t today.  I have school!”

Ukelele:  “Do you have to go?”

YES she does.  Now leave the child alone so she can get ready.


I forgot to introduce our newest Hurkyferd!

Nope, not a baby.  Did I fool you for 2 seconds?

Meet Ulyssa Hurkyferd!  Gertie found her while out on one of her meteor/gem/rock/seed seeking missions.  Since I don’t have Pets, I figured this would have to do for now.

Ulyssa:  “What’s that supposed to mean?  Sorry if I’m not a cute little puppy or a bouncy little kitten.  If you didn’t want me then you could have done what you should have done – which is leave me to live my life in the wild.”

Wow.  I think Gertie caught herself a Diva Ladybug.  Perfect.


Uli tears herself away from pillow fighting in time to eat breakfast before school.  Sadly, I had to use Uli’s ONE child action I am allowed to cancel the pillow fight so she could refocus and eat.

She chose ice cream.

Uli:  “I like this!  I can have ice cream whenever I want!”

Grr…stupid ISBI…my poor little Uli is eating ice cream for breakfast because I can’t control her!  I don’t know if I’m going to make it through this whole thing without tearing my hair out!


While Gertie takes a shower, Opus spends some time with the children.

Opus:  OMG

Uli:  “Yummy yummy chocolate-y goodness!  BEST.BREAKFAST.EVER!”

Atticus:  “ZZzzzzzzzz”   *makes a poopy*

Gus:  *screams at top of lungs*  “I made a poooooooopyyyyyyyy!!!!!”

Opus:  “Oh good gravy, what do I do first?”

Well, since the baby is still asleep, and you can’t really do much about Uli, maybe Gus?

Opus:  “Shhhhushhh, Daddy loves his little Gus.”  *changes diaper*

Atticus:  *snores*

Gus:  “Me go play with Buddy, now?”

Yes.  I should mention this.  Funny the way things work, isn’t it?  When I got out Atticus’ new Invisible Friend, it appeared in his crib.  The next night when Opus and Gertie put the boys down to bed, suddenly an IF showed up in GUS’ BED TOO!!!!  WTH??

So, let’s take a tally, shall we?



3 Kids


3 Imaginary Friends =


ONE INSANE SIMMER!!!!  That’s what I call Torture Math.  *cries*


Gus:  “Me wike eat fingers!!”

No, buddy you’ll need those later on to do things like write and eat. Very useful things those fingers!

Gus:  “Me wike eat book!”

Another useful invention!  Keep up the autonomous skilling bud, you’re doing great!  He is!  I must say as toddlers go, he isn’t as calm as Uli as he likes to scream it up every once in a while, but he’s almost as good at skilling as Uli.  *almost*

As evening approaches, Gertie wraps up her gardening.  It is really progressing nicely!

Gertie:  “I decided to garden in my Formal Wear today.”

Yes, nothing like a pair of high heels sinking in the fertilizer to make one feel *fancy*.

Gertie:  “You know, anytime is the right time to wear a cocktail dress.  My Aunt Hettie taught me all about style.  She told me the only reason its called a cocktail dress is because when you put it on, it immediately becomes Happy Hour!”

Oh really?  I might like this Aunt Hettie.

Gertie:  “Yep.  As she always says ‘Its 5 o’clock somewhere'”

Gertie:  “Whew!  I’m all done.  Everybody say ‘hay-oh, hay-oh’ ”  *dances*

Thought Balloon Sunshine:  “Heeeellllpppp meeeee, I’m meeeeelllttiiinggg!!!”  *dies from stench of Gertie’s pits*

Might be time for a shower there, Gertrude.

Gertie:  “To be or not to be, that is the question…. See?  I know things.  I learned about Omlette in school.”

Maybe we should leave the acting to Opus?  He’s coming along a bit better these days.  He’s only getting one of the stress moodlets now!

Robot at Creeper Neighbor’s House:  *photobombs*


With that lovely image burned into your retinas, we’ll call it a wrap!  Next time – will we get to see baby Atticus’ genetics?  Will Gertie get her dream of a house that works?  Tune in next time to find out.  As always, thank you so much for following along with my goofy Sims.  And please feel free to leave me a message.  I appreciate every one I get!  See you next time 🙂



Babies Born: 3 = 15 points

Total Points = 15


Chapter 0.8 – The Awkward Ride Home

Hiya 🙂  Welcome back to the Hurkyferd Prettacy.  We left our little growing family last time as they just finished celebrating Gus’ toddler birthday, Opus stepped out on the town to try and gain some celebrity points and our loving couple mended fences in the form of another pregnancy!


It is a great day for the oldest of the Hurkyferd children!

Uli:  “Me bwow out fire!”

Aw, I’m going to miss your sweet toddler face little Uli!  You won me over ❤

Gertrude:  “That’s my girl!  Go on and grow up so mama can start putting you in pageants!  We’ll get you on ‘Toddlers n Tiaras’ in no time flat!”

Ugh, that awful show?  No way!  besides, what if she doesn’t want to be in pageants?  That isn’t always the healthiest thing for a young girl anyway.

Gertie:  “Nonsense.  Besides, she can win lots of sparkly crowns and sashes!”

How about just putting the thousands of Simoleons you’ll spend on gowns and entry fees in a nice college or house fund for Uli instead?  Seems like that would be much more helpful to her when she hits YA than a room full of cheap plastic crowns and trophies?

Gertie:  “I *will * get on Toddlers and Tiaras.  I must – er, I mean Uli must be noticed!’


Uli:  “Derp!”  *spins in birthday twinkles*

Let’s see those Hurkyferd genes, babydoll!

Uli:  “Dag dag!”

Wow.  She is a total clone of Gertrude, except for the skin tone and hair color.  Poor thing  😦  She was such a good little toddler, I feel bad for giving her these crazy genes!

Uli:  *still Derping it up*  “Yeah!  Now I can go to school! 

Why is she so excited for school?

Uli:  “Because I am so smart, my dad told me so!”

Yep, she gained the Genius trait 🙂  Hopefully that makes for some honor rolls going on! Points for me!


After the celebration, things go back to normal.

Gertie:  *Bangs hammer on toilet*  “I’m upgrading this dern thing if it is the last thing I do!”

Good idea.  We can use some things that don’t break everyday.  I must admit, though – you’re getting mighty handy, Gertie!

Gertie: “Of course!  I AM multi-talented!”

I wish I could just bang a hammer on a toilet and have to never clean or fix it ever again.

Gertie:  “By the way, I want a new house.  Things are getting cramped up in here!” *diva pout*

Yeah, well with almost 5 Sims in a ONE bedroom house, I would imagine it is getting a little like a clown car in there.  But we only have like 1500 Simoleons, so you’re going to be there for a while yet.


Then this happens…

Ukelele:  “ZOMG!  I’m alive!  They finally took me out of that stupid backpack!”  *spins in the twinklies*

Um, yay?  Listen – let’s keep the distractions to a minimum, k?

Ukelele:  “Wow, I forgot I’m on a reality show!  Cool!

Yeah, no one can see you except Uli.

Ukelele:  “But you can see me.”

*narrows eyes*  True, but that’s cause I am the all-knowing player – I mean Producer/Show Runner.  I see all!

Ukelele:  “I can’t make any promises.  I mean, for one I am only a kid.  And for two, I just became REAL!”  *parties*

Just leave Uli alone when she’s in the bathroom and let her get her homework done before you play, ok?

Ukelele:*plugs ears*  “La lalalalalala la…I can’t hear you…Lalalalalala”



Later that night.

Ukelele:  “Hi Uli!  I’m growed up like you!”

Uli:  “Holy meatballs!  Ukelele – you’re real!”

Ukelele:  “Yup.  But its a super-duper secret!  The only one who can see me is you!  Oh, and that grumpy reality-show lady”

Hey!  I’m not that grumpy.

Uli:  “This is awesome!  My very own Imaginary Friend! Now I have someone to play with who won’t drool all over my toys!”

We do need to get Opus a retainer, don’t we?  I kid, I kid.  I know she means little Gus.

Ukelele:  “Lets play tag!”

Gah!  Its almost 1o o’clock and Uli’s exhausted.  This IF is going to cause me points, I just know it.


Who is this strange boy, and why is he holding little Gus?

Freddie Riddle:  “Ok Gus, it’s time for night-night.  Just think, when you wake up tomorrow, you’ll have a new little baby sister or brother!’

Gertie:  *off screen*  “Sister!  He’s going to have a sister!  OWWWWW…oh balls, I forgot how bad labor hurrrrrrrrts!”

Well, if 12 watermelons are right then, yes he will have a sister.  Now get in the car and go bring us another potential heir!

Freddie Riddle: *pats Gus on head*  “Goodnight, buddy, if you need anything. I’ll be in the next room.”

Wow.  Color me STUNNED. A Sims babysitter who takes care of the kids!  He walked right in and scooped little Gus up, changed his diaper and put him to bed!  It’s a miracle!!!  *cries*


Poor Gertie JUST makes it to the hospital in time.

Gertie:  “I may never eat another watermelon as long as I live”  *has orange Plumbob*  “It didn’t work in case you haven’t guessed.” *glitches baby through chest*

Who is that you have there!  A new baby boy! *curses watermelons*

Gertie:  “Yes.  His name is Atticus and he really seems to be happy out here.  He must Love the Outdoors.  He’s also a sweet little thing.  I think he’s gonna be real Friendly when he is able to talk and stuff.”

Don’t sound so excited there, Gertrude.  You can’t blame him for being a boy.  And if you do, you’ll be looking at yet another child of yours that’s going to have their therapist on speed-dial.

Gertie: “Oh, I love him and all.  I just kept hoping for a girl.  I have a feeling Uli isn’t going to like the whole ‘pageant’ thing.  I need one I can start early this time. Get her into makeup and hairspray right away.  Like 3-4 months old.  Then I’ll make it on Toddlers and Tiaras for sure.”  *sighs*

Nice priorities there, Gert.  I think you need some rest, dear.  Go on home, now.


Gertie, as you can tell, is yet again in a foul mood after giving birth.  Last time Opus didn’t make it in the hospital.  This time he isn’t coming out for some reason.  Gah!  Glitches….

Gertie: “Where’s that man I married”.  *Grumble grumble*   “Where’s the cab?”

Opus: “You think SOMEONE might have taken time to notice I was stuck in the hospital.  I don’t know what happened!  Its like suddenly the building turned into a giant labyrinth.  Hallways let to more hallways.  Then every time I got near the door, it started to disappear! The whole building seemed to fade away! It was the strangest thing.”  *trembles*

Hmm….that sounds vaguely familiar….but maybe not.  Lets just say maybe the nurses gave YOU some pain medicine right along with Gertie?

Opus:  “I – I just don’t know.”

I think you best be getting on home. You two are both tired and starving!  Let’s blame it on exhaustion.  All the celebrities do!


Meanwhile, back at the homestead.

Freddie Riddle:  “It tickles!’

What in the world is that crawling up your back? What are you doing in the backyard?

Ah ha!

Freddie Riddle:  “Oh man, I just started this up and now I sense the parental units coming home.  *spins in air and changes back*

I knew you were too good to be true!  I KNEW it!

Freddie Riddle:  “Whatever.  I’ll take my $50 now.  Bye!!”  *runs off*


Opus and Gertie are making the Awkward ride home.

Gertie:  “We’ll have to use that babysitter again, Opus. I liked him. And you know I’m a good judge of character.”  *sighs*  “Boy my back aches”

I bet it does!  Off to bed with you when you get home.

Opus:  *I wonder if she’d make me a steak dinner if I asked right now?*

Opus, my man.  You are NOT good at this childbirth thing, bless your heart!  Remember, smile and nod.  And for Plumbob sake, don’t ask her to do anything for a couple of days!!


Let’s check in our newest Hurkyferd!

Atticus:  *coos*

Aw, there all so cute at this age.  If you get past the creepy cocoon body.  He doesn’t look like he has Opus’ washed-out skin.  I think I see Gertrude’s eyes.  We won’t know anything until toddler, anyway.


The next morning…the fun begins.

Uli:  “Ukelele!  I’m going to go potty!  You can’t be in here right now!”


Ukelele:  *leaves*

Two minutes later…

Uli:  “Ukelele!  I need to take a shower!”

Ukelele: “So?”

Uli:  “You can’t be in here then, either!”

Ukelele:  “But I’m imaginary!”

Uli: “Well, I’m not!”

Ukelele:  “Ohhhh!” *pauses*   “Wanna play tag?”

Uli:  “Sure!”

*le sigh*  At least she went to the bathroom, right?


Meanwhile, outside.

Opus: “You can do it, buddy!  Just a few more steps and you’ll be walking!”

Gertie:  “What’s that over in the neighbor’s yard?”

Gertie!  Your oldest son is taking his first steps RIGHT beside you?  What could possibly be more important that that?

Gertie:  *squints*  I think it might be a meteor!

Go!  Go grab them…we can so use the Simoleons!  XD  What?  I need a new house for these poor crowded Sims!


Gus is looking like he’s walked into a wall of royal stench in the bedroom.

Opus:  *plugs nose*  “Oh my hairy eyeball, what crawled up in the wall and died in here?”

I don’t know.

Opus:  “Smells like the time Mamaw  Grady made that pickled roadkill stew.”

I – I don’t even want to know.

Opus:  “No, no!  You misunderstand!  It smells like an armpit but it tastes like heaven!’

If by heaven you mean poopy? Then yes, I believe you.


Uli and Ukelele continue to avoid hygiene and goof off like kids should.

Uli:  “And the little girl found the doll in the basement of the old, abandoned house.”

Ukelele:  “No!  But I thought they had burned it 100 years ago!”  *shivers*

Opus:  “Good gravy, what is that smell?”

Uli:  *oblivious to stench*  “The little girl was scared but she took the hammer and smashed the evil doll into a thousand pieces!”

Giant Floating Face:  “OMG, what stinks in here?”

Opus: “I might throw up.  This is awful”    *realizes what stinks*

Uli: “The little girl went home, still a little scared, but glad she’d had the nerve to destroy the doll that had torn her family apart for generations!”

Opus:  “Uli – when is the last time you took a bath, kiddo?  *gags*

Uli:  That night she fell asleep with ease for the first time in months.”

Okay, story over now go to take a shower!

Uli:  *ignores*   “But later, she awoke in the middle of the night, scared for a moment until she remembered the doll was gone.  Her mom was sitting on the edge of the bed.  The little girl sat up and smiled.”

UlI:  “Then her mom turned to her and the little girl gasped! For she held the doll in her arms!  And she said…’All Hail the Doll”

Ukelele:  *terrified*  “Ahhhhhh!!!!”

Uli:  *laughs*

Ukelele: “I don’t know what’s scarier. The doll or the green fumes rising off your clothes!”  *giggles*

Uli:  *pouts*  “You’re the one that woulnd’t let me take a bath!

Ukelele:  “I’m not stopping you now!”


Opus hears little Atticus crying and happily goes to change him.

Opus: “Oh Atticus.  Even your dirty diaper smelled better than Uli.”

Atticus:  *coos*

Opus:  “By the way, you got this strange doll in the mail from some woman named Aunt Bertha….”

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!!!!!  Another IF!  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…..



We’ll wrap up here in the midst of my IF tragedy.  Next time – will we see any more of the Hurkyferd genes popping out?  Will there be more babies?  How will they all fit in their one bedroom house?  Come on back and find out!  Thank you for reading, I truly appreciate it. And if you’d like to, please leave a note!



Babies Born: 3 = 15 points

Total Points = 15