The Hurkyferd Prettacy

An ISBI Prettacy


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Chapter 0.2 – Creeper Mailman

Welcome back to the Hurkyferd Prettacy.  Last time, we met Opus and Gertrude Hurkyferd.  Our Legacy founders who will be doing their best to produce a, let’s say –  unfortunate looking Sim in Generation 0 so that when we truly start trying to improve the gene pool, it is as hard as possible.  Opus got a job at the Plumbob Pictures backlot, hopefully on his way to his LTW of becoming a Superstar Actor and Gertrude joined the Culinary career to work towards a LTW of 5-Star Chef.

———-

When we left the young couple, they were snuggling on the bed after an interesting visit from the Starlight Shores Welcome Wagon.  The next morning, Gertrude hops out of bed before sunrise.

Gertie:  “Ooooh.  That Kirsten Law wasn’t kidding when she said she took the good stuff out of my basket.  I think she gave me a bunch of that e coli-laced lettuce or something.”  *stomach rumbles and churns* “Either that or it was that possum pie I had for breakfast back in Twinbrook before we hit the road.”

———-

She suddenly takes off out the backdoor of the little house, running down the driveway.

Gertie: “Sometimes when my stomach feels like this, I run in my Formal clothes. I find the pain of having my feet jammed into high heels from the force of my own body weight being slammed repeatedly over and over takes my mind off the ache in my belly.”

Yeah, that’s one way to do it.  Another is to grab some antacids.

———-

Gertie stops on the front porch.  Effectively having gone from one door to another.  And glitches her elbow through her “formal” dress before suddenly discovering quite the stench.  (Note:  There was nothing around her to make her do this.  I checked her inventory as well and nothing was stinky or spoiled.  In fact, I just had started this save file and this was truly only the second Sim morning I’d played the Hurkyferds)

Gertie:  “Urgh.  Boy does that slap you in the face! Truth be told,  I’ve got some serious gas issues going on right now.  Phew!  I could stink up a room faster than a bag of old shrimp.  Papa would be proud.  Back hone we used to try and stench each other right out of the house” .

Or Gertrude, you are perfect for reality TV.

Gertie:  “Don’t I already know it!  Besides, Mamaw always said, ‘the stronger the stink the better the meal’!  That means the meal was great.  Get it?”

*stares*

———-

By the time she gets inside and freshens up for the day, Opus has already grabbed a quick bowl of cereal and headed to his first day at work.  Gertie has to get her Cooking Skill up, so she makes herself some pancakes.

Gertie:  *pops left shoulder into impossible position*  “I have the best homemade pancake recipe.  It was Granny Jean’s, Opus’ grandmother’s recipe.  I have to ask you to turn off that camera now, due to it being top secret and all.”

Yeah, no.  Anyway, Gertie makes a huge batch of pancakes and even though it is only the second thing she’s ever cooked, she doesn’t burn them.  Gotta loooove those Natural Cooks.  And Now that I am writing this, I so am craving pancakes in a bad way. *drools on keyboard*

Because, really, who doesn’t love pancakes?

Aw, poor J.D.  No smiley face pancakes for him that day!

Back to our Legacy.

———-

After making her pancakes, Gertie is eating when suddenly I see something pop into her queue.  I hover over it and it says “Shoo Peeping Sim”.  I was like “whaaaat”?  I scroll around the house to see this:

I didn’t catch a picture of it but he was just leaving the window!  I got him as he ran away, the coward.

Creeper Mailman: “Oh, I’m glad that scary orange lady didn’t catch me.  Hey, my breath blowing back in my face smells minty fresh.  Thanks, toothpaste!”

This town, I tell you.  It is going to drive me to move my legacy yet!

———-

After breakfast, Gertie changes into her work outfit but then proceeds to sit down and read a book, ignoring the honking carpool sitting outside waiting to take her to her first day at the restaurant in the Starlight Shores Corporate Building.

Gertie: “Oh, this Shades of Grey novel is so naughty!  Its making me all flushed and tingly.  I can’t wait to get home from work tonight.  Opus and I are going to get all -“

*claps hands over ears*  LALALALALALALAI’MNOTLISTENINGLALALALALALA”

Don’t you think you should be on your way to work?

Gertie:  “What?  Oh, no.  I still have 17 minutes.”

Yes, but you are a Sim.  It will take you 15 minutes just to put the book down and jog to the car.

———-

Off she goes to start making this Legacy some Simleons, thank goodness.

Gertie:  “Aw, tiny baby in my belly.  I love you already.”

o_O  Gertie!  You only worked for like 5 Sim minutes.  Really, she walked into the building, I started to pan the camera away and thought I saw her come back out so I scrolled back over, and there she was!  Then she changed clothes and, well, that leaves us right here. She got paid $12 Simoleons.  That will buy what, half a steak?

Gertie: “Opus called and asked me to meet him at the Karaoke Bar down the street.  I can’t wait to tell him about the baby!  Plus, the restaurant told me I get maternity leave pay!”

Wow.  you only worked there for like, 2 seconds.  I wish real life was like that!

———-

Gertie heads down to the Karaoke bar.  In true Sims style (ha, no pun intended) she is wearing some wonky looking nightgown and still has her strange work skully-cap hair.

Gertie:  “OMG, will you get this hat off my head?  I despise it. Its ruining my pouf and cramping my style.  In fact, I think it is trying to kill me.” *gives death stare to skully cap*  “I think this was made by those half Llama people. ”  *panics*    “Maybe it is reading my thoughts!”

Insane Sims, gotta love them!  *waves magic Master Controller Stylist wand*  There you go Gertie.

———-

Meanwhile. Opus is singing away on the Karaoke stage with some random townie.  Actually, once I click on his Relationship Panel, I see it is one of his coworkers. But I forgot to write down her name.  *slaps own hand – bad Legacy Writer!*

Opus: “Don’t go breaking my heart…”

Co-Worker: “I couldn’t if I tried…”

Random Sim in Bar: “BOOO!! You suck!  Get off the stage!”

Sims are so rude sometimes.  *clicks on Random Rude Sim and gives him that horrible shaved hair with the patterns in it and a pair of overalls*  Mwahahaha!  Revenge is mine!  Now who else wants to insult my Legacy Founders?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  I handled that dude, like a boss!

———-

Gertie and Opus head upstairs and go into the Photo booth autonomously.  Their pics end up really cute:

It totally looks like Gertie is giving us the bird in the pic on the left- top left corner doesn’t it? Naughty Gertie!
———-

I sent Opus to the bar to try and meet celebrities but no one had any celebrity points so I left them on high free-will and let them do what they wanted.  After the photo booth, they played pool for a while.

Gertie:  “Urgh.  I smell something.  I think that possum pie is coming back -“

No Gertrude! Not again. I have a limit of one bodily function joke per Legacy, thank you very much!

———-

The next few days pass without anything major happening.  Opus goes to work and comes home every.single.day with all the stress moodlets in the game.  No matter how high his Needs are when he goes to work, he is off the charts with stress each night when he returns.  This means he stays at the bottom of his career even though he’s gotten a few charisma points. Gah!

Opus:  “See Larry, I just can’t stand that director.  He’s got eleven cats and I just cannot handle another afternoon spent rolling the lint off his wardrobe.  Even his Plumbob has lint on it” *sighs*  “Oh flipflop, just talking about it I can feel myself starting to panic.  I’m so glad the day is over and I can go home and relax.”

Larry: “Opus, I just picked you up.  Its only 8:45 AM.  We haven’t even started work for the day.”

Opus:  *chokes*  “I need some coffee.”

Poor Opus.  it will get better, I promise!  (yeah, no it won’t, not for a looooong time, but I am getting ahead of myself)

———-

Gertie spends her days fulfilling wishes and skilling up for when she goes back to work.  They do not have any money at all.  In fact, in order to buy the bare minimum for the baby, I had to sell some of their furniture from the house and take down a few inside walls.  But, that worked and they get a crib, highchair, potty, and both little skill toys for the baby.  Gertie has a good pregnancy.  She rolls wishes to read pregnancy books and to have Opus do the same.  So, off she goes to the library since we are broke and can’t drop $270 Simoleons , or whatever it is, on a book.

Gertie:  “I was excited to be pregnant until I started reading this book.  I mean, two hours of labor?  That sounds painful!”

Yeah, try 34 hours, then we’ll talk.

Gertie: O___o

Oh, to be a Sim.

———-

Since they have money troubles, I send Gertie around town looking for seeds so Gertrude can start a garden in their little back yard.

Gertie:  “Should  I really be doing this?  I AM pregnant after all, remember Producer lady?  Seems like I should be somewhere with my feet propped up and Opus rubbing my bunions”

Ugh.  But yes, I know you are with child.  And there is no reason why you can’t garden.  It’s good for you.  Think of the fresh, organic food you’ll be feeding your child.  And the money we’ll be saving on food bills.

Gertie:  “Hmm. I guess.  But really, can I just go back to the library?  It has air-conditioner and nice fluffy couches!”

Nope.  Keep picking.  Bananas are filled with potassium, great for growing babies!

———-

I send Opus to the karaoke bar again to try and meet some people to practice his charisma, fill some wishes and try and get a celebrity point.

Opus:  “Booo!  You suck!”

Opus Hurkyferd!  That is rude! I just gave that townie Sim a deliberately bad makeover for doing the same thing!

Opus: “Welll, it won’t be so easy with me, I mean I’ve got these natural good looks.  you could put anything on me and I would still look the same.”

I’d have to agree with the last part of that statement, yes.  XD

———-

When I scroll back to Gertie, she is doing this:

Is that your picnic basket, because I don’t remember buying one.

Gertie:  “Heck no, these things are expensive!  Some couple laid this out, then went to use the port-a-potty so I decided just to help myself.”

Gertie!  You’re picnic-crashing!

Gertie:  “Doesn’t the watermelon look delicious?”

Way to dodge the issue, Gertie.

———-

And that is all we have for this time.  Next up:  A baby!  Who will start Generation 1 of the Hurkyferd Prettacy?  Will he/she be our heir? Will Gertie ever go back to work?  Will Opus ever stop being a stressed-out mess at the end of the work day?  Join us again and find out.
Thanks for reading and hey,  leave me a comment if you do.  I’d love to  hear from you 🙂


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Chapter 0.1 – Doohickey’s and Plumbobs

Here they are in all their glory. Meet Opus and Gertrude Hurkyferd.  Two crazy kids from the small town of Twinbook trying to make it as big stars in Starlight Shores  – the closest thing to Hollyweird in the Simverse.

Opus:  “Nomnomnomfacenom”

Gertrude: “Nonom.. Baby you’re the bandaid on my bleeding heart…nomnomfacenom”

Um, ew?  Okay guys, let’s break it up long enough for proper introductions, mkay?

Gertie: “Me first, me first!  I am the pretty one after all”  *bats nonexistent eyelashes* (I know they are nonexistent because I didn’t give her any.  What?  This is a Prettacy after all)

I picked her traits.

Gertie:  “OMG, is it starting, Opus?  I can’t believe it’s really starting!  I can’t believe we got our very own reality show on SimTV!”

Ohhhkay, well, sure that’s exactly what this is.  A reality show. And I’m your Producer and Host.

Gertie:  “Oh my good gravy, what the Hellman’s is that green doohickey above my hubby’s head?”

Gertie: “I’ll get it, Opus!  You just run for your life!”

No, no.  Don’t be afraid.  It’s called a Plumbob. A very special camera/microphone combo.  VERY advanced technology.  Don’t touch it!

Gertie:  “Hmph.  That ain’t no way to be talking to a reality STAR now is it, I outta give you a swift backhand.”  *fluffs hair*  “Neverminds you that, you like my tan?  I’ve been going to the spray tan parlor back in Twinbrook?  And using my at home tanners.  I’ve got four different ones I use three times a day and my own special one invented for me by my uncle Cletus.  He’s a scientist”

You don’t say?  Why, I’d never know it wasn’t a real tan unless you told me.  It looks so natural. You hardly notice the orange tint, really.  However, I’m having a hard time believing you have anyone in your family tree anywhere close to a scientist, but we’ll go with it.

Gertrude:  “I don’t like your attitude Producer lady.  I might just walk off this here lot before you even get a chance to air my story.  I AM the Snookie of Starlight Shores after all.  You DO know who Snookie is, right?”

*sigh* Unfortunately I know who Snookie is.  But I can proudly say I’ve never watched one millisecond of that train-wreck of a show I refuse to type the name of here lest some Googler somewhere find my blog – er – find this Reality Show that way.

Gertie: “Hey, I don’t like how you italicized that word, You’re weird.  As I was saying, Snookie is my TV IDOL. I got this tat between my twins to represent her.”

Twins?  I don’t even want to know.  You mean that pink dolphin on your chest?

Gertrude:  “Are you touched in the head?  Of course!  Ever’one knows that Snookie is a member of the DERPS….”. *sighs*  “The Dolphins Exterminating Really Pernicious Sims – we’re a secret society against secret societies!  My uncle Cletus, the genius, he taught me all about them growing up.  They fight evil.  I am a member.  I signed up online – this is our signal”  *strangles self*  “We do this to let each other know we’re on the level.”

Hmm..did anyone research the word DERP before you used that for your acronym?

Gertie: “You do know about the conspiracy of the tree-men and half-llama people, right?  They are made up of most of the rich folks and politicians.  They come from underground caves and they’re trying to control the world. Some of them are even celebrities in disguise.  Trying to send their evil messages in secret eye-blink codes and hairstyles n stuff.  I read it in my Daily True News magazine.”

Opus:  “Oh, Gertrude, don’t start with that Daily True News nonsense.”

Finally, a voice of reason.

Opus:  “We all know that it’s the Weekly Tales of the Weird that tells the real stories.”

I forgot, they both have the Insane trait this being an ISBI Prettacy.  That reminds me, we need to introduce our other co-founder, Opus Hurkyferd:

Opus:  “Look there Gertrude, we have our very own Character Cards.  I wonder if they can give me some of those to hand out when I go to auditions and the like.”

Speaking of auditions, don’t you two think it is about time you head off and apply for some jobs?  After the house and furniture, you only have about 200 Simoleons to your name.  And hey, we’re going to get the cameras rolling now so let’s keep the chitchat between yourselves and the crew (meaning ME) to a minimum.  You go on and do that magical stuff you do and we’ll just add the boring commentary.

Gertie:  *rolls wish to get job in cooking career*   (Her first wish!)

Gertie:  “I’m off to the Corporate Tower Restaurant – or whatever its called.  I’m going to be the chef!  Hey, Mr. CombOver cabbie, you’re driving a 5 Star Chef and Reality Star.  Do you think you could speed it up or use your sirens to get through traffic or something?’

Cabbie: *Holy Batman, Jeffrey, don’t make eye contact don’t make eye contact….I’ve never seen such a hideous creature.  Even ON reality TV*   “Um, I’m sorry m’am, I don’t have a siren.  I’m driving a cab not a police car”

Gertrude:  “Hurmph.  Don’t you M’AM me.  I’m the YA here. You aren’t fooling anyone by brushing those three extra-long hairs over the top of your head, you know.  By the way, you know where I can find a spray tan place around here?  A girl’s gotta keep her color up.  Plus, my husband?  He’s gonna be an Simmy Winning Actor one day.”

Gertie, you know you aren’t going to START your career as a 5-Star Chef, right?  That is your Lifetime Wish.  It is going to take years of hard work and dedication to get to the top.  And seeing as you don’t have a car, maybe you should be a bit more polite to the Starlight Shores cab drivers.

Gertie: *Ignores and runs inside building*  “I hope they give me one of those big white paper hats.  Opus said he wants me to wear it when we woohoo later”

TMI Alert!  TMI Alert!  This is (sort of) a family show, let’s keep the Woohoo details to ourselves, yes?

Meanwhile, Opus takes to the computer to see if any of the Film Studio’s are hiring.

Opus:  “My high school drama teacher moved out here halfway through my freshman year. Something about a nervous breakdown.  Anyway, he told me if I ever made it to Starlight Shores to look him up.  We’re friends on Simbook online and he just sent me a note – the studio he works for is hiring!

That’s great, is he a director or something?

Opus:  “Not yet.  Right now he is Silas Treehorn’s umbrella holder.  You know who Silas Treehorn is, right?  Only one of the TOP producers in Starlight Shores.

Umbrella Holder?

Opus: “Oh yes,  very prestigious job.  The sun shines almost 100% of the time out here.  It is very important to protect your skin from damaging rays. *panics*  DON’T tell Gertie I said that!  She just loves her tans – real or fake.  She doesn’t know this, but I switched  out one of her self-tanners with 50 SPF.  I do it all the time.  Don’t put this on the show!  Back to the umbrellas – you know, only peasants like us hold our own parasols.  With his hands free, Mr. Treehorn can answer texts, phone calls and sift through headshots – like mine.  Now, my interview is in an hour, I need to go prep myself.”

Opus uses the small cheap bathroom mirror to gussy up and practice Charisma.  It can’t hurt to have at least one skill point before he goes off to try to make a good impression.

Opus:  “Gertie got her job!  She isn’t too happy she didn’t get the chef position.  In fact, they laughed at her and handed her a mop.  I  told her to keep her chin up!  Everyone has to start somewhere.  Besides, they don’t realize she is a Natural Cook.  She may not have any Cooking skill points, but she’s been cooking for me back in Twinbrook since we were in high school.  She’ll knock ’em dead. Once they let her cook.”

Cabbie:  *What the heck is the deal with this dude?  I’m retired but my son called me earlier and told me he’d been traumatized by some crazy-looking broad earlier. What’s the world coming to?*  “Where to, sir?” *Rolls wish to bleach eyeballs*

Opus:  “Film Studio, please Mr. Cabdriver.  You may not know it, but you are transporting the future Superstar Actor of Starlight Shores.   Oh, and never mind the green floaty diamonds.  Those are just cameras.  We’re being filmed for a new reality show – The Hurkyferd Prettacy.  I know Gertie and I are lookers, Gertrude that’s my wife, but to have our own show announce it to the world?  Life is good, life is good.”

Aw, I like Opus.  He may be wonky looking but he seems to have a lot of heart. I like Gertie, too. It’s just that Diva trait that makes her hard to handle sometimes.

A few minutes later (because that’s all it takes as a Sim to get a Job.  You want to work here?  Great!  Just show up, enter the building and the job is yours!)
Opus emerges with thoughts of Simmy Awards dancing in his head.

Opus:  “I did it! They hired me!  I have to start as a Background Extra, but I get to be in productions right away! The told me I have a very interesting look.  I knew I would make it!  The pay isn’t much and I will have to run errands like fetching lunch and rolling the lint off the director’s clothes on a daily basis, but it doesn’t matter.  Plumbob Pictures will never be the same!  And, to put the cheery on top of this grand day that is like a giant ice cream sundae, they don’t mind me being in the Reality Show. “

Really?  you don’t say.

Opus:  “Yep, as long as I don’t bring the cameras to work inside the studio, it’s all good.  Golly, I can’t wait to call our friends and families back in Twinbrook.  Heck, I’m going to update my Simbook status as soon as I get home!”

Back at home, Gertrude has some visitors. Seems the local Welcome Wagon has shown up at their modest abode to greet the new couple to Starlight Shores.   SS Townies Edward Gooder, Javed Meir and Kirsten Law (yeah, I Master Controller’d her hair in the Stylist option.  *grins*  It’s going to be happening a lot as we go.  There are some EA hairstyles I just cannot tolerate and anyone who knows me knows I have a HUGE hair addiction. I cannot help it.  If I see a hair I like I MUST HAVE IT IN MY GAME!!)

Okay, sorry for the hair tangent.  As I was saying, Welcome Wagon showed up and Gertie was excited to have the chance to show off her new home and chat about her new job.  And show off her natural Fabulousness, of course!  Gotta love a Diva.

Lord help poor Edward Gooder, for he must be blind.  He Immediately starts flirting with Gertie while Kirsten and Javed chat by the door.

Edward:  “Hey baby, you look good in the unicorn tank top. I like the way I can see the outline of your muffin top through the thin, cheap fabric.”

Gertie: “What?  I’m flattered.  I know I am a magnetic beauty but, Mr. Gooder?  You know I am married.  I already told you.  Opus will be home now any minute.  Now excuse me while I go make some dinner for us all with those nice vegetables you brought me from the Farmer’s Market.”

Edward:  “Marriage, that’s just a piece of paper.  You’ll find plenty of people in this town who don’t really pay too much mind to marriage.  Now tell be Gertie, what’s your sign?”

Maybe I just should have started this Prettacy with Gertrude?  Damn, isn’t this Starlight Shores where the pretty and shallow come to play?  Poor Edward must be a Sims version of this guy:

A few seconds later, THIS happens:

Edward:  “Ta-Da!  Oh Gertie, you’re more beautiful than these fragrant blooms.  Please accept these as a token of my affection.”

Gertie:  “What the what?  First of all, where in the holy frog bottoms did you get those flowers from?  No – never mind, I don’t think I want to know.  But now you’ve gone too far.”

Person Person Minus!

Gertie shoos everyone over to their little couch to watch TV while she whips up a quick meal of Autumn Salad.  She overhears Kirsten cackling and pestering Edward about the flowers.  She doesn’t seem like a very nice person.

Gertie: *Hrmph,  Who does she think she is.  This is my house. If anyone is going to make fun of Edward, why that would be me.*

Food is served and Kirsten continues on her ranting.  This time about Gertie’s cooking.

Kirsten:  “Hm.  This salad takes like fish.  What kind is in here?”

Gertie: “What?  There’s no fish in here.  Its Autumn Salad. Don’t you Starlight Shores people know what’s in Autumn Salad?

Kirsten: *picks through food*  “Oh, yes I see now.  It must be these cheap bowls and flatware. Either that or that crappy set of appliances you have over there need a good cleaning.  Of course, I have a maid for that kind of thing.  But living in a shack – I mean a cottage like this, you wouldn’t need one of those.”

Gertie:  *gives Kirsten stink eye*  “Well, I don’t know about that.  We paid a pretty penny for this little house. And you’re really annoying me.”

Door opens and in steps Opus.

Gertie:  “And my husband won’t have that kind of talk about his woman.  Now excuse me while I go clean up. A real woman can take care of her family all by herself.  *rolls wish for butler*

Hahaaa haa Gertie.  Not going to happen.  You and Opus have like 200 Simoleons to your name and aren’t going to be making a lot of money.  Not for a long time, so let’s tuck that Butler wish deep in our pocket and save it for a rainy day.  A rainy day about 20 years from now, if ever.

While Opus meets their guests, Kirsten skulks around the house scaring the begeezus out of everyone.  Including the living room wall.

Kirsten:  “BlarghblarghBOO!”

No, not really.  She just decided to scare the living daylights out of the person in the house most annoyed with her at the moment.

Gertie: “OMG!  She nearly scared the tattoo right off of my chest.  Good gravy Kirsten, why can’t you settle down?”

Kirsten:  “Haahaa.  You losers think I am really here by my own choosing?  I only signed up for the Welcome Wagon for the freebies we get.  You know, the basket we brought you?  Well, I like to keep some of that for myself.  In fact, I always skim off the best stuff.  Enjoy your bruised bananas and wilted lettuce.”

Yikes!  She doesn’t even need to sneak up on anyone.  Look at that face.  Man, my Prettacy is in deep trouble if that woman is any sign of the genetics I can expect to see in Starlight Shores.

Gertie: “Ooh, I don’t like that woman.  If I had a rock right now she’s be in serious trouble.” *goes into stealth mode*

Gertie:  “BOOGAGOOGABOO!”

Kirsten: “Oh my good Plumbob!:”

Gertie: “Ah, the sweet taste of revenge.”

Opus: “Yeah, that’s my wife!”

After saying goodbye to their visitors, Gertie and Opus clean up the house and share their excitement for their new jobs, both starting the next day.

They snuggle on the bed and relax in the glow of their love.  Hey now you two – no babies yet!  Gertie needs to work a week or two so you can make some money.  You are pretty much broke, so we need two incomes.

Opus:  Yeah, well you can’t stop our love, even with that scary floating diamond-thingy.

And that wraps up our first post – I mean episode!  Not too bad a start for our young couple.  They both have jobs, they met some people (albeit two out of three of them were looney toons) and have settled into their new home.   Tune in next time to see what happens.  Will Opus get his job?  Will Gertie realize she really *isn’t* the chef?  Will there be babies despite their desperate need for money?

See you soon and thanks for reading!


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Forgot to Mention

Already I forgot something and I just started.  I can tell I am going to be SO good at this. heh.  So, since I am doing things differently, my Generations are kind of messed up.  I am starting on Generation 0.  So, lots of other people do this.  What is so unique about that?  Here is where mine might differ a bit.  I started with TWO ugly Sims, both controllable in this Generation of my ISBI.  They are married and will have children.  It is one of THESE children that will truly start the Prettacy.  Reason being, I wanted to start with BOTH sides of the gene pool filled with questionable features. Rather than starting with one goofy-looking slob and marrying a decent-looking one right off the bat, I thought I would shake things up.  So Generation 1, the actual *first* Sim to start trying to get pretty, will be one of my Gen 0 children and we want she/he to be ugly, ugly as possible.  Totally confused yet?

That makes two of us.  Just remember this – first ugly, then pretty.  If I could write it out in a mathematical equation, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here writing a Sims blog, but that is neither here nor there.

So for the children of my first two Sims, we’ll be voting for the UGLIEST Sim whereas the rest will be all about the lovelies.

Okay, now on to our regularly scheduled programming.


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Welcome and All that Good Stuff (Rules, etc)

Welcome to the Hurkyferd Prettacy ISBI.  This is my feeble attempt to tell the tale of my Sims as they work their way through 10 Generations of messed up genetics.

For anyone that doesn’t know, a Prettacy is where you take an ugly Sim (in my case, two ugly Sims) and try and get a decent looking one by the time your 10th Generation reaches YA.

The ISBI (I’m Surrounded by Idiots) component is a form of self-flagellation.  This is where you are only allowed to control your current Heir/Torch Holder.  That means all other Sims in your household are going to be doing their own thing.  No biggie, right?  Wrong.  You see the ISBI has a point system so every time your non-controllable (or even your controllable) Sims do something like pee themselves, pass out or fail a class, you get dinged.  I have Free Will set to it’s highest, but if you’ve played the Sims (which I kind of assume you have if you’re reading this but if not, hey go buy a copy, it’s fun!!) you know that doesn’t mean they’ll do what they’re supposed to do.  Thus, the rules.  There are a bunch of different versions.  There are some here and some more here (FABULOUS Sims 3 Legacy Writer there named Mariah, I hesitate to send you there because you just may never come back! But even if you don’t I would be happy because she is wonderful)  And even more here (those may be the original – at least back for Sims 2).  I will be playing my own variation which are as follows:

1.  Each generation I only control the Heir/Torch Holder.  This means I cannot control spouses, children or anyone else living in the Legacy household.

2.  Every generation must have at least 2 children.  They can have more but must have 2.  My heir MUST be a child born from the heir and their spouse, due to this being a Prettacy. Spouses can be any combo of sexes.  I’ll go with the flow depending on where my game takes me and what my Sim seems to like.

3.  I can send the children to the mirror to change hair/dresser to change clothes/use MC to send them to Stylist (this IS the Sims  – no one grows up with good hair or outfits) but I CANNOT and WILL NOT take them back to CAS to change genetics in any way. That would defeat the entire purpose of a Prettacy, non?

4.  At some point while the kids are all still younger than YA, I have to pick an heir. I will hold an heir poll either here or on forum or any combination thereof with the caveat that this IS a Prettacy as much as it is an ISBI.  It may stink, but here as in life as mainstream media would have us believe, pretty is everything.  If I am unsatisfied with the results, I have the right to override. I MUST HAVE THE PRETTAH!

5.  Once they are up to YA, all non-heir children must be moved out within a day or so of their aging up.  Oh, and I won’t age anyone up early.  I have lifespan set to a custom amount I like (I think it is 116 Sim days or some such).

6. Since this is an ISBI, if my heir dies, GAME OVER.  Well, technically it will be but if I want to keep playing (and writing), I may grab one of the spares and continue without keeping score and with the knowledge that I SUCK at ISBI’s.

7.  Many ISBI’s are based on the notion that all Sims in the Legacy family have the Insane trait.  Not so much this one.  My founders both have the Insane trait, but I am not requiring that every single Sim in the family has this trait.  I’ve done the “genetic” trait before with a multi-generational family and by the 3rd Gen I was ready to poke my eyes out from watching the same thing over and over (the trait was Virtuoso.  Good Lord I tell you everyone was whipping out a guitar every 2 seconds).  HOWEVER – if any of the children have to randomize their traits due to bad pregnancy, rough childhood or extra-angsty teen years and they get Insane randomly, they automatically become heir.  If more than one child does this, there will be a vote.

8.  Once a life-stage, I can send the NHS (Non-Heir Sims) to do one action. Whether that be telling them to go to the damn bathroom before they wet themselves, sending little truant kiddos to school, or having them Try for a Baby (I need Heirs after all), I get one freebie.  And I’m sure I’ll use it.

9.  I can have my Heirs marry whomever I choose in my town – BUT – they have to be born in the game.  This can include offspring of Sims provided by the game, offspring of Sims I make and move into the world or offspring of Sims I might get from other people and pop into my game. I don’t think I’ve ever typed the word offspring so many times. That’s a weird word, isn’t it?  Offspring.  Sounds like a gymnastic move.  Maybe I’ve just got the Olympics on my mind since the London 2012 Olympics are going on right now.   Exception to this Rule:  My Generation One Heir will marry a townie-born, unless the only choice is to marry a child of one of my user-created Sims.

10.  Spouses and teens can have jobs and getting said jobs does not count towards Rule #8.  Come on, we all know you need money to survive in this capitalistic society we live in, and Sims are no different.  I won’t have the Social Worker taking my kids because we can’t afford food.  Now, this doesn’t mean I can queue up the action to go to work.  They have to do that on their own, but if we need the income, I’ll let them have at it.  Caveat to this Rule:  If an Heir’s spouse comes in with a job that is user Controlled (i.e. Ambitions, Showtime) I can change it to one I don’t have to control since I cannot re: these rules.

11.  50/50 Wish Rule:  For the Heirs/TH I promise to fulfill at least 50 percent of the wishes they roll.  The other 50 percent I can ditch if I so choose.  I know, I know, many hardcore Legacy players are calling me a wimp on this one but I’m already dealing with some hella ugly genes AND an ISBI.  I want this to be somewhat enjoyable if I’m going to make it 10 Generations and still have my wits about me.

12. I wanted to play in Starlight Shores instead of Sunset Valley so instead of following Pinstar’s Legacy challenge rules (go here) and giving them the whole “Humble Beginnings” of a giant lot, one bed, no walls etc – I bought a house and some stuff that cost them all but about $200 of their Simoleons.  Its a shit shack, trust me.  There’s only one bedroom and its in the scariest neighborhood in Starlight Shores (more about that as the story unfolds but TRUST, it’s got some creeper neighbors).

13.  A caveat to the above : When the family gets big enough and has enough funds, I reserve the right to move them to a more suitable Legacy-type lot.  I also reserve the right to move the family to another World/Town if I need or want to.  Any of you who’ve played long legacies know old Save Files can get borked.  If I need to (heck, if I want to) I’ll move the Hurkyferds.  Currently I have no plans to do so and would like to stay in Starlight Shores, but I’m starting to feel like it is pretty small and Lucky Palms has been calling my name lately.  Heh.

14. Cheats – not gonna do it.  This means no dragging the motive bars up if someone is about to pass out and no Motherloding cash into the house.  I do play with Twallen’s Master Controller and Story Progression, but those are used to keep the town alive and help with issues. I will Resetsim when needed.  I once had one of my Sims at a wedding stand and clap manically for 8 hours, long after the vows were said, the cake was cut and the marriage consummated. Yeah, not going to let my Sims die because they are stuck somewhere due to game bugs or routing issues.

15.  (Sorry, this is longer than I thought it would be, sheesh!) Lifetime Rewards – I will use them.  If I can manage to earn LTR points for my Sims, I will cash them in for useful things like Inheritance, Simbots and the like.  I would imagine the only one getting enough LTR points for any type of decent reward will be the Heir so I’m using them!

16.  Wishes for NHP – I will check the wishes for the Non-Heir Players from time to time and lock some in for them.  However, unless I use my “One action per Life-stage” rule to grant them, I can’t do anything about fulfilling them. This also means I will allow myself to click on the NHPs so I can access their panels.  I can also use things from their inventories, or place things in there if I want.  Sleeping bags are a must for any ISBI!

17,439.  There are points (finally  – the last bit!) scored and taken away in all of this.  I will do my best to keep track of points but I’m not the best at this kind of thing.  That said, here is the breakdown:
For each Sim failing school – 5
*For every game induced visit from a police officer, firefighter or babysitter when you don’t call them but the game makes them come, EXCLUDING babysitters who come when your Sim goes to Hospital to give birth cause, come on, its childbirth. (I have a wee one and I know childbirth’s no picnic so I feel a Sim deserves a babysitter during labor and delivery if needed) – 5
Passing Out – 5
Accidental Deaths – 10
Social Worker Visit – 15
Every Birth + 5
Every Twin Birth +10
Every Triplet Birth +15
Fulfilling LTW +40
For each Sim that gets on the honor roll+5
Randomizing every LTW choice and trait for a whole generation of children +10 (I doubt I’ll do this because if I was able to take care of my Sims enough that the game lets me pick traits, I probably will)
Not using spares Happiness points for a generation +10
Every 100 000 dollars +20
Having an NPS Spouse reach the top of their career +10

*There is some talk in some rules about having to call Firefighters when you have Ambitions due to the career addition.  I’m not sure about this one so I”l try it out in game, if needs be.  I won’t cheat, don’t worry.

And that’s it! If you made it this far, here have some cake!

Okay, so I can’t give you cake seeing as I am on this side of the internet and you’re on THAT side, but if you do have cake (or cookies or cupcakes or salami – whatever your yummies of choice is), go ahead, reward yourself.  This was a long set of rules!

Now, on to the madness! Starlight Shores will never look the same!

(Note: I’ve made this post into a Page, so you can access it from the top Menu just incase you really want to read ALL OF THIS OVER AGAIN.  Did I already mention self-flagellation?  Yeah?  Okay, fair enough.)