The Hurkyferd Prettacy

An ISBI Prettacy


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Chapter 0.5 – The Nothing Spectacular!

Hello hello hello!  You’ve clicked your way onto Chapter 0.5 of the Hurkyferd Prettacy.  Last time Opus finally got a promotion, Gertie met a neighbor and Uli became a toddler.  Let’s see what our little family is up to now.

———-

Opus decides to surprise Gertrude.

Opus:  “Ta-da!  Happy Anniversary, Gertrude!   A dozen red roses for the love of my life.  Thank you for taking care of our beautiful daughter, and thank you for bringing her into the world”  *wipes tear*

Gertrude: “Oh, they are nice!”  *WTH, It’s our anniversary – I wanted diamonds and shiny things!*

Gertie!  I heard/see that thought….Opus is practically in tears over there and you are grumbling about not getting diamonds?  You two still have hardly any money.  And he’s pouring his heart out.

Gertie:  “I deserve it!”

Opus:  *is clueless*  “Of course you deserve that bouquet!” 

Good grief!

———-

I get a notification there is a performance going on.  I just installed Showtime at the start of this Legacy, so I am excited to see this as I have not yet had the chance.  Perfect timing!  I send Opus and Gertrude off on their date after the babysitter shows up.

Opus:  “Yeah, Dawg!  This is the best thing I’ve ever seen!”

Really?  I can’t wait to see what it is!  Wait – where is Gertrude?

Opus:  “Shhhh!  The show!”

Opus!  Where’s Gertie?

Opus:  “Oh, we took separate cabs.  Thought it would be more fun that way.  We can pretend we don’t know one another and pick each other up at the bar later.   Its a game we play called ‘Strangers at the Bar’  Last time we played we almost got arrested for public nudity!”

Leaves a bad taste in my mouth, too Simba.  Yech!

———-

When she finally makes it, Gertrude joins her husband. (they really took two cabs…lol crazy Sims)

Gertie:  “OMG Opus, its like nothing I’ve ever seen before!”

Opus: “My life is changed forever!”

Here is what they were watching (oh you know you want to know!)

Absolutely NOTHING!  :/   Unless you call some confetti and shiny stage lights a show.  And notice Gertie tore herself away long enough to turn around and boo some random townie Sim she’s never met before.  This was before she spent 10 minutes on stage talking to to the lighting panel.

These two, I swear!

———-

After tearing themselves away from The Nothing Spectacular, Opus invites Gertie to join him doing one of the things he loves most.

Gertie:  *sings*  “You’re the one thing”

Opus:  *sings* “I can’t get enough of”

Gertie:   *sings* “So I’ll tell you something”

Both:  * sing together* “This could be love, because…I’ve had the time of my liiiiife no I’ve never felt this way before…”

Ah, young love.  Best served with silly little love songs from Dirty Dancing!  And I am thinking this is a cute moment until I scroll around and I see they’ve cleared out the entire venue with their howler monkey screeches. Niiiiiiiiice!!

———-

After a very successful date (including several Wishes filled!), the next morning Gertie does something I have NEVER had a Sim do yet.

Gertie:  “I feel so free!”

Gertrude!  There is a child to think of here, not to mention the Plumbob camera!

Gertie: “But it is so hot outside and we have no air condition in this house!”

Put some clothes on, woman!

———-

After I tell her to put on clothes, she suddenly changes into her bathing suit and then cancels the action to tend Garden.

Gertie:  “blarghblarghblargh”

Oh Gertie, I am sorry you don’t feel well. But *squee*!!  Babies! (sorry for the puke pic, every legacy needs one)

Gertie:  “I don’t know, I think I might have eaten something bad…”

Trust me on this one, I had to watch the awfulness that is the Hurkyferd Woohoo and I swear I heard the baby chimes.

Gertie:  “Opus and me, well our love is like a symphony under the sheets!  And we don’t have any windchimes.  They are a device used by the half-llama people to hypnotize us into submission.  We were talking about this last night in DERP chat.”

Ohhhkaaaaay…

———-

Gertie finishes heaving in time to make breakfast for herself and Opus.  And by make breakfast, I mean cut two hunks of birthday cake.

Gertie: *chompchompchomp*

Opus:  “I had fun last night.”  *wiggles eyebrows*  “YOU stole my heart like a masked bandit.”

Gertie:  *chompchompchomp*

Don’t you have some news for Opus, Gertrude?

Gertie: *chompchompchomp*

It’s no use, Snape, I agree.

———-

Checking in with baby Uli, she joins her parents for the meal.

Uli:  *splashes fist in goopy goop*  “Yummy!”

Are you going to eat that, babycakes?

Uli: *nomnomnom*

There you go!  Now why doesn’t Sims 3 let you teach toddlers how to use utensils, hm?

———-

Gertie goes out to garden and I get a notification that Opus has been invited to a party at his boss’ House. This is good news as he needs to do something to improve his work performance.  But first…

Opus: “Who’s my big girl?  Who is daddy’s growing girl?”

Uli:  *baby giggles*

Opus!  Did you just finish what I think you did?

Opus:  “I sure did!  Uli is now a true toddler!”

She knows how to walk!  And you had that wish locked in so that was a ton of LTR points!

Hellz yeah, we love the toddler skilling!

———-

Out in the yard, Gertrude wraps up her garden work.

Gertrude: “I don’t feel good.”

You’re cooking another Hurkyferd!  A little nausea is worth it.  Uli looks too much like you so we need some more babies. Besides, you and Opus both have Wishes locked in to have a baby and to have a boy. Fun!

Gertie:  “I think I need to put my formal clothes on and run around so my tummy feels better.”

Why don’t you go teach Uli to talk?

Gertie:  “I said, I DON’T FEEL GOOD.”

———-

After that madness, we’ll go inside for a little ugly-cute.

Uli: *baby giggles*

Ukelele: *OMG, I thought I was going to a human home….what are these people?  I want to go home*

Uli: *baby giggle*

Ukelele:  *Calling the mothership!  Abort the mission!  You’ve put me on the wrong planet.  Abort the mission!*

Sorry Ukelele, you are stuck here just like the rest of us!

———-

Opus is on the way to Anabelle Gooder’s house.  She is his boss at the studio, second to the director.

Opus:  “Okay, Opus you can DO this.  Just walk in there an be confident.”

Little self pep-talk there, Opus?  Afraid you’re going to see the Director tonight?

Opus:  *spirals into full-out panic attack*  “OMG, you think the Director is going to be there?”

Why did I even open my mouth?

Opus:  “Oh,maybe I’ll just go home and hang out with the family.”

No, Opus you have to go.  Besides, you have a bunch of work-related Wishes we can knock out tonight.

Opus:  “B-b-b-b ut the Director?”  *gulps*

You’re not going to make this easy, are you?  I swear you have to have a hidden neurotic trait. Sheesh!  It’s a party!

———-

And that is it for this time.  Next up – will Opus make it into the party or will he continue to be distracted by himself?  Will Gertie really be pregnant?  Tune in to find out!

Thank you for reading, and hey, feel free to leave me a note!

———-

Points:

Babies Born: 1 = 5 points

Total Points = 5


9 Comments

Chapter 0.4 – One Olive at a Time

Hi There!  Chapter 0.4 of the Hurkeyferd Prettacy starts night now!  Last time, our first Generation 1 baby was born in the form of a bouncing baby girl named Uli.  Opus broke appliances and left them for Gertrude to fix, and the Creeper Mailman made another guest appearance.  On to the show – we gotta lotta things to cover!

———-

Gertie and Opus get into a routine with their new little family.  Opus works, trying to get a promotion and Gertie stays home, watching her little garden grow and taking care of Uli’s needs.

Gertie:  “Its so lonely in the mornings.”  *sighs*  “I wish Opus and I could have breakfast together again like we did back in Twinbrook.”

But your life is so different now.  You have your sweet little Uli!  And Opus is trying hard to get his promotions.

Gertie:  “But I hate eating alone.  Opus used to tell me every morning how beautiful I was.  Even though I don’t need anyone to tell me that,  it was still nice to hear it.”

How about getting up before 10:30, then?  That might do the trick….

Gertie:  “Pshhhh.  I need my beauty sleep.  That isn’t even an option.”  *flips hair*

Diva, diva, diva.  Makes me think of this:

Gertie:  “ZOMG!  I sense a Llama somewhere!”  *spits out oatmeal*  “You remember about my membership in DERPS?  The whole reason I have this tattoo in honor of our most esteemed Snookie?  Remember the Dolphins Exterminating Really Pernicious Sims? Pernicious as in evil??”   *sighs*    “I don’t care for llamas on account of our belief in the half-llama people.  They are just waiting to take over, I know its true.”

I have no idea what you mean?  I don’t see any Llamas in the yard or anything. *snickers*

Gertie:  *suspiciously peeks out windows*  “Okay, I don’t see any either.  Which is a good thing because since Uli’s been born I haven’t had as much time to spend in the DERP chatroom.  We shouldn’t be talking about this on the show anyway.  Make sure you edit that out.”

Oh, I will. 😉

———-

While I am torturing Gertrude with llamas, I hear the “happy” music and get the most amazing pop-up of this Prettacy thus far.

Opus:  “Who has two thumbs and just got a promotion?”  *points at self*  “Opus Hurkyferd, that’s who!”

Oh Opus!  I am so glad.  Maybe you’ll like this position a little more and won’t come home in the orange/red every day anymore?

Opus:  “And I got a raise AND a bonus.”  *rolls wish to buy a hot tub*

Opus, dear…you have a little under 1000 Simleons in the bank.  Bills are due and we’re going to have to get a bed for Uli at some point.

Opus:  “Well, you promised to shoot for 50% of our Wishes, right”

Good thing his wish panel is full!

———-

Gertrude has the “Stir Crazy” moodlet so I decide to send her out into the neighborhood to meet some people. Opus has absolutely no celebrity points, which he now needs for his job, so I am hoping Gertrude can be-friend a celebrity and then Opus can meet them as well.

Gertrude: “Thanks for inviting me in.  I’m your neighbor from around the corner, Gertrude Hurkyferd.”

Stardust Woods: “Hello, I think I’ve seen you a few times. I am Stardust Woods.”  *oh my boolprop, this is that woman that gardens in her bikini. And what the name of all that is good and fashionable is she wearing now? Those colors, and the cutouts*   “Nice to meet you”

Fake, fake fake.  Finally, we meet someone who fits in a Hollywood-type town!

Gertie: “Stardust.  That’s a pretty name.  Anyone ever call you Dusty? I had an uncle named Dusty.  He liked to make planters out of old toilets.  Oh, they were the most gorgeous things!  Especially the ones with the wooden lids.  Can I call you Dusty?”

Startdust:  “No”  *how can I get her out of here*

Gertie:  “Maybe I can have him ship one to you.  it would look great in your front flower bed!”

Stardust: o___O

———-

Despite starting with a couple of PERSON PERSON MINUS interactions, Stardust starts to warm up to Gertie.  Soon they are gossiping and giggling like a couple of teenage girls.

Gertie:  “Oh, we jest but that house next door to me is terrifying.  Seriously, the yard is filled with weeds and stacks of magazines.  I went inside once and that man has at least 11 televisions in there.  And a bunch of kids toys, but no kids or cribs or anything.  I wish he would move.”

Note:  This is totally 100% true.  I was in the game trying to add cribs and single beds to houses in town since I found out only one – ONE! – other house had a crib (need to make room for other families to have babies/children/teens so the Hurkyferd offspring have kids to grow up with) and hardly any had enough beds for more than two or three Sims.  Anyway – this house was the definition of creeper!  Tons of games and TVs in this crappy, rundown house.  There was probably 20 stacks of magazines and a bunch of kids toys – but no cribs and only one bedroom with a double bed.  And this single guy lived there.  It was just very very disturbing. What the heck was the person at EA thinking when they built that?  *shudders*

Stardust:  “Oh you mean crazy Dan Stubbs?  Yeah, we’ve tried all kinds of tactics to get him out of here.  But he’s lived there for ages.  I think, despite his terrifying house, he is harmless.”  *evil grin*  “But he’s bringing down home values so we’re still working on how to get him out of here.  I have a connection in the new mayor’s office so it’s only a matter of days.”

Way to be neighborly, Stardust!

———-

Gertrude had a wish sitting in her Wish Panel forever, and since she and Stardust were hitting it off so well (they were already almost friends by this point), I decided to let her do it.

Gertie: “So anyway, like I was saying, one day I will be the most celebrated 5-Star Chef in all of Starlight Shores, if not the world!  Wouldn’t you agree?”

The wish was to “Request Compliment“.  Aaaaaaand this was Stardust’s reaction:

Stardust:  “What did you say?  Did my ears deceive me? HOW DARE YOU REQUEST A COMPLIMENT FROM STARDUST WOODS! YOU RIDICULOUS ORANGE CLOWN OF A WOMAN!  GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!”  *growls*

*rage rage rage*

Seriously, she completely lost it!  She raged at Gertie over and over and they got a huge PERSON PERSON MINUS.

Gertrude:  “Pshhh, gurl please.  Like I even care about your opinion.  You don’t even have any celebrity points.” *flips hair*  “I’m going back to my house now that the stir crazy moodlet is gone.  The people there know how appreciate me.”  *flounces out*

Way to tell her.  Geeze!  What is with the women in this town?  I need to add some normal Sims into the mix!

———-

Gertie goes back home and makes Opus’ favorite meal as a celebration for his promotion and bonus.  Then she finally finishes a painting!

Gertie: “Oh that’s a thing of beauty.  I’m going to hang it on the wall!”

Nope.  We’re selling it. We need the money!  And we get a whopping 37 Simoleons.  We’ll take it!

Gertie:  *sniffs*  “My masterpiece!”

But now you can buy some new stuff.

Gertie:  “Let’s go to the spa!”  *rolls wish for $500 treatment at spa*

New stuff for Uli.

Gertie: *sighs*

That’s parenthood for you.  And it is worth it a million times over.

Gertie:  “I know, I know its true I would do anything for my sweet Uli. Its just, I used to get facials every week back in Twinbrook.  My pores are screaming for help!”

You’re cooking level 4 or 5 by now, whip something up in the kitchen. There’s all kinds of natural beauty treatments you can make.  I bet you could even use things from your garden.

Gertie:  *throws self on couch*  “Too much work.  I’m tired anyway”

———-

The next morning is Friday and Opus scarfs down some bread and jam before work.

You think you can make it through work today without getting stressed out Opus?

Opus:  *laughs and bangs on table*  “That’s a funny joke.  Haa haaa haaaa”  *rolls wish to quit job*

:/  Opus, we can’t switch jobs, we need those LTR objects for future generations!

Opus:  FML…..

This is a family show Opus, family show!

———-

What is this I see?  Do my eyes deceive me?

Gertie:  *gives camera side-eye*  “Don’t talk to me.  I need coffee and breakfast. But mostly breakfast”

Hey, I’m just shocked you are awake!  You normally don’t roll out of bed before 10:30.  Opus is still here – you can have breakfast together!

Gertie:  “Must.Have.Food!  I can feel my curves melting away.  I can’t lose my lovely curves.  Opus loves me like this.  He always pinches me when we -“

TMI Alert! No, no, no!  That is why we have pixelated showers and undercover woohoo, thankyuoverymuch.

Gertie:  “Hrph.  You just can’t handle my lusciousness.”

———-

Opus and Gertrude don’t get to eat together as he needs to get ready for work.  And get his needs in the green so we can try YET AGAIN to make it through a day at the Plumbob Backlot without needing some serious Sim Prozac.

Opus:  “It’s the toothpicks!  They have formed together with the Pimentos and are plotting to take over the world!  One olive at a time!”

Opus – you and your crazy ranting.  Between you and Gertie, you certainly show your Insane trait more than she does.

Opus:  “ONE OLIVE AT A TIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEEE!”

o__O

———-

Run Gertie Run!

Gertrude: *huffs and puffs*  “I’m going as fast as I can!”

We found a pretty sizable meteor behind the creepy neighbors yard, so I send Gertie off to grab it.  But Opus’ carpool is already here and he can’t be late.

Gertie:  “I know, I know.  Let me concentrate on getting over there!”

Plus, you can’t leave little baby Uli by herself.  We DON’T want a social worker visit!

———-

Gertie makes it over to the meteor.

It’s huge!

Gertie:  “Yeah, I can fit that in my pocket.”

Oh how I wish I had the pockets and/or backpacks of a Sim.  Nothing like carrying around 437 pieces of produces, 17 books, 89 pounds of fresh fish, a sleeping bag, 67 paintings and the family car!  All with no strain on the back. *is jealous*

———-

Now Gertrude has to make it back before Opus leaves the house.

Opus:  “Oh yeah, I look goooooood today.”  *clicks teeth*

Oh man, Gertie *just* made it back in time!

Gertie:  *gasping for breath*  “I….found….a…..giant…..meteor…….GASP!”

Opus:  “What’s that dear?  I was distracted by my reflection from 5 minutes ago in the bathroom.  Love you – see you after work.”

Gertie:  “I think I’m going to have a heart attack!”  *pant pant*

Maybe we should invest in a treadmill when we have the money, yes?

Gertie:  *still gasping* “Hey, that’s a low blow.  As I said earlier, I love my curves!  And so does my Opie.”

I’m not knocking your shape, trust – I have curves of my own.  Beauty (ahem) comes in all shapes and size.  I’m talking about a 1 minute jog making you feel like those pancakes you had for breakfast are going to be making a big comeback.  As in coming back to a porch floor near you!

Gertie: *breathes heavy*

Or you could cut back on the bacon-mayo sandwiches drizzled with peanut oil and spread with Crisco?

Gertie: “That’s an old family recipe.  And it is delicious!”  *goes to kitchen*  “I’m going to make one now.”

*sigh*  At least be a little more active, its good for you. Take Uli for a walk or something?

———-

Opus leaves for work.

Opus:  “Thanks for picking me up, Wally.”

Wally: “No problem.  Shame about Larry, though.  I can’t believe he was arrested trying to shave the director’s cats!”

Opus:  *stares*  “What?  When?”

Wally:  “Oh, you didn’t know?  Just last night.  I saw it on the 10 o’clock news.  What a nutter!”

Opus: “Yeah…..what a nutter.”  *chokes*

The Sims in this town, I swear!

———-

Gertie spends her day as she usually does.

Gertie:  *grumble grumble*  “Stupid freaking,  %$#5^ * toilet!  I fixed this darn thing yesterday.  TWICE!”

I know, I’m sorry.  Everything in this house breaks constantly.

Gertie:  “I want to get some new things – like a toilet that won’t break after every use!”

Yeah, that costs 1800 Simoleons.  You guys have like 800.

I know, Gertie, I know.  As soon as we can, we’ll upgrade things. But for now, you just have to have patience.  Besides, if you fix things enough, you should work up to being able to make it so that things are unbreakable!

———-

Opus comes home from work with…a birthday cake!  But before we can get to our little birthday girl….

Opus:  “I hate that flipping director.” *mumbles under breath*

I know there is a Plumbob in this picture.  I did that on purpose.  Look at that thing!  It is red all because of his 4,432 negative moodlets – all related to work!  I swear he was at 100% when he left for work.  This is pretty much how he comes home every.freaking.day.

Opus: “I’m almost not surprised Larry snapped and broke into the director’s house.  He’s an evil, evil man.” *sighs*

Sorry Opus but you’re going to have to deal with it for now.  Maybe if we get you some celebrity points and make more friends amongst your co-workers, you’ll do better.

———-

Finally!  It’s here!

Gertie:  “Blow out your candles little one!  You’re growing up today!”

Uli:  “Goo goo gaa gaa”  *punches her mama through the chest*

Gertie:  *ignores baby fist through chest*  “Mama will do it for you”  *blows out candle*

Opus: *out of picture*  “Woooo hoooo!  Go Uli!”

———-

Soon the birthday twinklies begin.

Opus:  “Look at my little baby girl sitting up!  Go into the sparkles, little one!”

Uli:  “I can finally see the rest of my body.  OMG I don’t have any legs!”   O___O

Gertie:  “Okay, I’m bored.  And tired.  I’m going to lay down.”

Niiiiiice parenting there, Gertie.

———-

The birthday twinklies complete the transformation!

Uli:  “I have legs!  And feet!  And hands!”

You always had hands, baby girl! 🙂  But alas, you also grew into bad hair and a ridiculous outfit (of course, wouldn’t be the Sims otherwise)

Opus:  “Must…have…..cake…..must…temper…stress….level”

Almost there, Opus.  We have one last thing to do this update

———-

Introducing….

Uli Hurkyferd – the toddler!  Okay, so she isn’t that bad.  But you can see the genetics now!  She’s got daddy’s pale, clammy skin, mommy’s greenish/yellowish/brownish eyes, daddy’s strange muddy dark lilac/orange hair and mommy’s facial features.

Uli: “Goo goo gaa gaa!”

Happy birthday Uli!  I don’t know if you’ll be heir because I have a feeling you’re going to be a clone of your mama and I want a good blend.  But I dressed you in your favorite color and those little piggy tails look adorable on you!

———-

That wraps up this Chapter/Episode!  Next time:  Gertie and Opus hit the town on a date (gotta fulfill some of those Wishes!), Opus attends a work party and Gertie gets to learning her skillz.   Will there be more babies?  Will the toilet stop breaking?  Tune in next time to the Hurkyferd Prettacy and find out!

Thanks for reading, and if you do, please leave me a message!

P.S.  I am also working on creating a Page of Sims Legacies/Blogs that I follow.  If you would like yours included, please leave me a note along with your URL and I’d be more than happy to check it out.  I *adore* reading Sims legacies!

See you next time 🙂

———-

Points:

Babies Born: 1 = 5 points

Total Points = 5


11 Comments

Chapter 0.3 – Take a Chill Pill

Hi there and welcome back to the Hurkyferd Prettacy.  Last time Opus and Gertie both started their jobs.  However, Gertie only worked for a millisecond because she is pregnant with the first child of Generation 1.  And now, on to the show!

———-

Gertie had already read one of the pregnancy books, and I had a Wish locked in for her to read a book about Handiness, so I sent her back to her current hang-out, the library.  But we aren’t there long when she suddenly walks behind the counter and cancels all the actions I assign to her.

Gertrude:  “OWWWWWW…”   *huffs and puffs*     “OWWWWWWW!  I think I pulled a tummy muscle getting up off that couch.”

No Gertie, you’re in labor!

Gertie:  “OWWWWWW”  *panics*  “No, I’m not ready.  In fact, I change my mind!  I’ll have a baby next year, okay?  Let’s just forget all about – OWWWWWWWW!!!!”

Aw Gertie, you’ll be fine!

Gertie:  “But Opus!  He’s still at work!  I can’t do this without him.  And I can’t do this on national television!”

*checks Opus’ location*  Nope, don’t worry.  He was on his way home and is now on his way to meet you at the hospital.  Which just happens to be right across the street.  And as far as birthing on National Television, why I can’t even see inside the hospital since it is Rabbit  Hole – I mean, there are no cameras allowed in the hospital so don’t worry.  Everything will be okay.

Gertie:  “What are you talking about rabbits for?  OMG, I think my water just broke.”  *jogs to hospital*

Jogging while in labor?  Call me impressed!

———-

Gertie was a great pregnant Sim and when the baby box pops up, I am allowed to choose the traits.

Its’s a girl!

Gertie: *grumbles*  “Who just spent two hours moaning and then twirled around in a bunch of sparkles to give birth?  I wanted to announce her to my reality TV fans.”

I guess that is fair.  Here – you tell them all about her, deal?

Gertie:  “Fine.  I still think you stole my thunder, though.  But enough about that.  Everyone please welcome our beautiful daughter,  Uli Hurkyferd, into the world!  I just adore her already.  She is very Excitable and sleeps like a log.  I’d say she is a Heavy Sleeper, just like her mama.  Now, Opus Eugene Hurkyferd get on over here and hail a cab to take us home.  You can do something today besides stand around, right?  I am exhausted.  Come on!!”

Opus:  “Hey, I helped, too.  In fact, I did a lot!”  *pouts* “Geeze Louise Gertie, take a chill pill.”

Opus, Opus, Opus – my man. No matter how much time you spent yelling “push” or “twirl in the sparkles” or whatever a Sim yells when their wives are giving birth, you should just smile and nod to whatever she says in the first few days after she’s done bringing your child into the world.  Trust.

Gertie:  “What? The heckfire you helped!  If you call screaming and tearing your hair out helping.”  *long sigh*  “Just help us to the car.”

Gertie’s Plumbob is orange at this point.  I swear, 90% of the time one of my Sim females goes into labor, she is in the yellow already.  Oh well, it makes it more realistic, right?  You don’t exactly feel in tiptop physical shape right after having a baby.

———-

Back home, Opus rolls a bunch of wishes for little Uli.  Gertie, on the other hand does not.  But she autonomously snuggles and plays with her new baby daughter, so I forgive her for the lack of newborn wishes.

Gertie:  “Look at my little Nooboo!  Who has a sweet little face?  Who has a nice warm blanky?  Who just ate a nice big green bottle?”  *bounce bounce bounce*

Uli:  *pukes*

Gertie:  “OMG!  It’s in my eyes!  It’s on my dress!  It’s in my HAIR! Opus, take her so I can take a shower, fluff my hair back up and lay down!  This Plumbob camera over my head is red and it is giving me a headache. Grr…I can’t have the viewers out there seeing me covered in baby vomit!”

Ah, there’s that Diva trait poking its head out.

———-

Opus is happy to take Uli and blows through his newly promised Wishes in seconds flat.

Opus:  “Daddy knows you just puked so it’s safe for him to do this.”  *twirls Uli in air*

Uli:  *baby giggle*

Aw, look at that little smile.  She is so cute. But OMG, look at the back hair on Opus.  He is a good Sim and I know he’ll be a great daddy but ergh,,,he’s weird looking.

———-

Back to Uli (ha! Back, get it? Because I was just commenting on Opus’ gnarly back hair)  Never mind my bad pun, let’s take a closer look:

Awwwww.  She looks like she got her dad’s complexion and her mom’s eyes, I think.  She is lovely but fortunately for us (since we’re looking for ugly right now), all Sim babies look the same except for skin tone and eye color.  We won’t really start to know what we have until she is a toddler.

Uli:  “Goo-goo, gaa-gaa”

I concur.

———-

Opus is very proud of himself for being a new papa.

Opus: *leans over crib*  “Gitchee Gitchee-goo.  “Who loves his new snuggly-bear?  Who loves his little Uli-Booli?  Daddy loves her, that’s who”!  *struts around bedroom with shirt off*  “Yeah, I am a stud, alright!”

Oh Opus.  You so crazy.

Opus:  “Now it’s time to knock Gertie up again.”

Opus!  She still has a red Plumbob from giving birth, what – 2 Sim hours ago?  Plus she *just* laid down.  Let a girl have some rest, jeeze!

———-

After he puts Uli down in the crib for bed, he heads over to the computer.  He needs to get his relationships up for his job so he chats with his co-worker and carpool buddy Larry.

OpusnGertieforever:  *typing*  “Ha ha ha Larry, that is too funny. 

LarryLuvsLadies: *typing back* “LULZ, ermegerd, Opus, I ttly thnk u shuld do it!

OpusnGertieforever: “What? Sorry, I don’t get all that hip computer lingo. We didn’t always have the internet back in Twinbook.  Or computers.  Or phone signals.

LarryLuvsLadies:  Oh, okay.  I guess I can spell everything out this time.  I was just telling you that you should totally do it!  I can even drive if you want.  And I have an industrial size tub of Nair we can use.  And some clippers”

??? What are you two talking about?

OpusnGertieforever: “Um, you were serious about me breaking into the director’s house and shaving all his cats?  That’s funny but I could never do that in real life.  I mean, they might get hurt or cold or something.

LarryLuvsLadies: Exactly! LULZ  And then you won’t have to de-lint his stuff every day.”

OpusnGertieforever: “No, I can’t do that. Seriously Larry.

LarryLuvsLadies: *long pause*  “Oh no, I was just kidding.  Really.  Um, I gotta go.  C u 2-morrow.

Computer: “LarryLuvsLadies has signed off”

Opus:  “Maybe I should carpool with someone else?  Now that I have spent more time with Larry, he seems a little ‘off'”

This coming from an Insane Sim.

Opus:  “That’s enough chatting for tonight anyway. I need to pay the bills and get the mail before I head to bed.  Man, Gertie’s snoring so loud maybe I should sleep on the couch.”

No no, someone needs to take care of Uli when she wakes up to be changed and fed tonight.  And since Gertie just birthed your child, maybe you could pull baby duty tonight and let Gertie sleep.

———-

I scroll over to Uli  while Opus pays the bills and see she suddenly has something in her crib!

Uli:  “Zzzzzzzzzz”

Hey!  There’s an Invisible Friend in there!  Opus must have gotten it out of the mailbox when he paid the bills.  I named him Ukelele.  All the kids are going to have “U”s in their name this Generation.  Why?  “U” for ugly, of course!  I know he isn’t one of the kids, but we’ll go with the flow.

I just hope that we don’t have too many IFs.  That seems like it might be really hard to handle in an ISBI (since I cannot control anyone but my current Torch-Holder(s))  I know the IFs love nothing more than to stop kids from going into the bathroom, do homework or accomplish anything other than pillow-fighting and playing tag. And that is bad for me and my points!

Points!  I just remembered I get some for a baby!  My first points!

Oh, John.  you’re so adorable *fangirlsquee*

———-

The next morning, after getting up with Uli, Opus stumbles around the house in an exhausted blur trying to get ready for work.

Opus:  “Good Gravy!  We’ve only lived here for a few months and I swear this flipping sink has exploded at least 14 times.

He’s right.  This sink has broken almost once a day since I started playing.  I would replace it if these poor schmoes had any extra money but like myself, they don’t. I feel for you Opus, I really do.

Opus:  “Well, my carpool comes soon but I need to continue on my Wish to make at least 5 friends so I’m off to chat and eat before I leave.

What about the sink?

Opus: “Gertrude’s real good with a wrench.  She’s been fixing the cheap sink, shower and toilet in the bathroom since we moved in.  If I do it, I could get a bruise or something.  I can’t risk it, just in case I get a speaking part or something.

They have makeup that covers up things like that.

Opus: *ignores*

*sigh*

———-

While water gushes all over the kitchen floor, Opus powers up the PC and chats for a while.  When the carpool shows up, he scarfs down a quick breakfast.

Opus:  What’s wrong with this banana?  Why can’t I taste it?

Hey Opus, you’re doing it wrong!

Opus:  “Is this really a banana?  What if the half-llama people planted this here and it has a mind-reading chip in it? 

Its a real banana Opus, you just need to peel it first.  And aim for your mouth, not your nostril.

———-

Later that morning…

Gertie:  “Rassinfrassin…#$$%$#@….f$%#*&^ sink.  Opus must have broke this earlier and he just left it like this.  these are real ‘faux’ hardwood Formica floors!  Doesn’t he know he can ruin them?  We can’t afford new floors.  *grumble grumble*

Gertie, you don’t know what “faux” means, do you :/

Gertie:  “Oh great, now the baby is up.  But look at that, chalk up another repair to me.  I may look killer in a dress but I can bang a wrench on a faucet like no one else.”

———-

Gertrude takes good care of Uli.  Babies really only need food, clean nappies and some snuggles now and then.

Uli:  “Gaa  gaa, goo goo”

Gertie:  “You’re going to be such a looker when you grow up.  You’re getting so big, it will be your birthday before we know it!”

She is adorable.  I had to resist the urge to baby spam the post.  I just wish Sim babies had legs and were more interactive, like they were in Sims 2.

———-

The next morning Gertrude is outside tending to her new little garden.  As she is working, she suddenly gets a new action in her queue.  “Shoo Peeping Sim”

Creeper Mailman:  “Yes!  No one will catch me today!” 

What the heck?  Don’t they do background checks at the Starlight Shores Post Office?  You better get outta here before Gertie comes after you.

Creeper Mailman:  “Good,  Then at least someone would be in the house for me to watch.”

Of course, as soon as Gertie starts jogging towards the front of the house, CM is long gone.

Gertie: “One day I will catch that freak, just you wait and see.  I know I am gorgeous and he probably can’t help himself, but I have little Uli to think about now.”

———-

After finishing up tending to the weeds, Gertie decides to have a little fun. (Warning: She is in her bathing suit!)

Gertie:  *slaps ass*  “Mm mm mm, I love this bikini.  You can see all my body art!  I must say, I am smoking hot!  Good thing I have the sprinkler out here to cool me off.”

Oh Gertrude, you do not lack for self-esteem, that is for sure!

Gertie:  “I smell something stinky.  Maybe it is the fertilizer”

Either that or the waves of green stink coming off of you.  BTW – what is with Gardening and making Sims all stinky?  And have to go to the bathroom?  Sometimes I can’t even get through an entire “Tend Garden” session without them going completely RED in both Bladder and Hygiene.  I need the Steel Bladder lifetime reward for Gertie at some point.

And hey, no failures yet!  Go me!

———-
On that positive note, I think we’ll end this chapter/episode.  Next up – will we get to see the genes finally – will Uli age to toddler?  And will there be more babies or will Gertie go back to work so this family can get out of the poorhouse?

Thanks for reading and please leave me a note!  See you next time.

———-

Points:

Babies Born: 1 = 5 points

Total Points = 5


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Chapter 0.2 – Creeper Mailman

Welcome back to the Hurkyferd Prettacy.  Last time, we met Opus and Gertrude Hurkyferd.  Our Legacy founders who will be doing their best to produce a, let’s say –  unfortunate looking Sim in Generation 0 so that when we truly start trying to improve the gene pool, it is as hard as possible.  Opus got a job at the Plumbob Pictures backlot, hopefully on his way to his LTW of becoming a Superstar Actor and Gertrude joined the Culinary career to work towards a LTW of 5-Star Chef.

———-

When we left the young couple, they were snuggling on the bed after an interesting visit from the Starlight Shores Welcome Wagon.  The next morning, Gertrude hops out of bed before sunrise.

Gertie:  “Ooooh.  That Kirsten Law wasn’t kidding when she said she took the good stuff out of my basket.  I think she gave me a bunch of that e coli-laced lettuce or something.”  *stomach rumbles and churns* “Either that or it was that possum pie I had for breakfast back in Twinbrook before we hit the road.”

———-

She suddenly takes off out the backdoor of the little house, running down the driveway.

Gertie: “Sometimes when my stomach feels like this, I run in my Formal clothes. I find the pain of having my feet jammed into high heels from the force of my own body weight being slammed repeatedly over and over takes my mind off the ache in my belly.”

Yeah, that’s one way to do it.  Another is to grab some antacids.

———-

Gertie stops on the front porch.  Effectively having gone from one door to another.  And glitches her elbow through her “formal” dress before suddenly discovering quite the stench.  (Note:  There was nothing around her to make her do this.  I checked her inventory as well and nothing was stinky or spoiled.  In fact, I just had started this save file and this was truly only the second Sim morning I’d played the Hurkyferds)

Gertie:  “Urgh.  Boy does that slap you in the face! Truth be told,  I’ve got some serious gas issues going on right now.  Phew!  I could stink up a room faster than a bag of old shrimp.  Papa would be proud.  Back hone we used to try and stench each other right out of the house” .

Or Gertrude, you are perfect for reality TV.

Gertie:  “Don’t I already know it!  Besides, Mamaw always said, ‘the stronger the stink the better the meal’!  That means the meal was great.  Get it?”

*stares*

———-

By the time she gets inside and freshens up for the day, Opus has already grabbed a quick bowl of cereal and headed to his first day at work.  Gertie has to get her Cooking Skill up, so she makes herself some pancakes.

Gertie:  *pops left shoulder into impossible position*  “I have the best homemade pancake recipe.  It was Granny Jean’s, Opus’ grandmother’s recipe.  I have to ask you to turn off that camera now, due to it being top secret and all.”

Yeah, no.  Anyway, Gertie makes a huge batch of pancakes and even though it is only the second thing she’s ever cooked, she doesn’t burn them.  Gotta loooove those Natural Cooks.  And Now that I am writing this, I so am craving pancakes in a bad way. *drools on keyboard*

Because, really, who doesn’t love pancakes?

Aw, poor J.D.  No smiley face pancakes for him that day!

Back to our Legacy.

———-

After making her pancakes, Gertie is eating when suddenly I see something pop into her queue.  I hover over it and it says “Shoo Peeping Sim”.  I was like “whaaaat”?  I scroll around the house to see this:

I didn’t catch a picture of it but he was just leaving the window!  I got him as he ran away, the coward.

Creeper Mailman: “Oh, I’m glad that scary orange lady didn’t catch me.  Hey, my breath blowing back in my face smells minty fresh.  Thanks, toothpaste!”

This town, I tell you.  It is going to drive me to move my legacy yet!

———-

After breakfast, Gertie changes into her work outfit but then proceeds to sit down and read a book, ignoring the honking carpool sitting outside waiting to take her to her first day at the restaurant in the Starlight Shores Corporate Building.

Gertie: “Oh, this Shades of Grey novel is so naughty!  Its making me all flushed and tingly.  I can’t wait to get home from work tonight.  Opus and I are going to get all -“

*claps hands over ears*  LALALALALALALAI’MNOTLISTENINGLALALALALALA”

Don’t you think you should be on your way to work?

Gertie:  “What?  Oh, no.  I still have 17 minutes.”

Yes, but you are a Sim.  It will take you 15 minutes just to put the book down and jog to the car.

———-

Off she goes to start making this Legacy some Simleons, thank goodness.

Gertie:  “Aw, tiny baby in my belly.  I love you already.”

o_O  Gertie!  You only worked for like 5 Sim minutes.  Really, she walked into the building, I started to pan the camera away and thought I saw her come back out so I scrolled back over, and there she was!  Then she changed clothes and, well, that leaves us right here. She got paid $12 Simoleons.  That will buy what, half a steak?

Gertie: “Opus called and asked me to meet him at the Karaoke Bar down the street.  I can’t wait to tell him about the baby!  Plus, the restaurant told me I get maternity leave pay!”

Wow.  you only worked there for like, 2 seconds.  I wish real life was like that!

———-

Gertie heads down to the Karaoke bar.  In true Sims style (ha, no pun intended) she is wearing some wonky looking nightgown and still has her strange work skully-cap hair.

Gertie:  “OMG, will you get this hat off my head?  I despise it. Its ruining my pouf and cramping my style.  In fact, I think it is trying to kill me.” *gives death stare to skully cap*  “I think this was made by those half Llama people. ”  *panics*    “Maybe it is reading my thoughts!”

Insane Sims, gotta love them!  *waves magic Master Controller Stylist wand*  There you go Gertie.

———-

Meanwhile. Opus is singing away on the Karaoke stage with some random townie.  Actually, once I click on his Relationship Panel, I see it is one of his coworkers. But I forgot to write down her name.  *slaps own hand – bad Legacy Writer!*

Opus: “Don’t go breaking my heart…”

Co-Worker: “I couldn’t if I tried…”

Random Sim in Bar: “BOOO!! You suck!  Get off the stage!”

Sims are so rude sometimes.  *clicks on Random Rude Sim and gives him that horrible shaved hair with the patterns in it and a pair of overalls*  Mwahahaha!  Revenge is mine!  Now who else wants to insult my Legacy Founders?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  I handled that dude, like a boss!

———-

Gertie and Opus head upstairs and go into the Photo booth autonomously.  Their pics end up really cute:

It totally looks like Gertie is giving us the bird in the pic on the left- top left corner doesn’t it? Naughty Gertie!
———-

I sent Opus to the bar to try and meet celebrities but no one had any celebrity points so I left them on high free-will and let them do what they wanted.  After the photo booth, they played pool for a while.

Gertie:  “Urgh.  I smell something.  I think that possum pie is coming back -“

No Gertrude! Not again. I have a limit of one bodily function joke per Legacy, thank you very much!

———-

The next few days pass without anything major happening.  Opus goes to work and comes home every.single.day with all the stress moodlets in the game.  No matter how high his Needs are when he goes to work, he is off the charts with stress each night when he returns.  This means he stays at the bottom of his career even though he’s gotten a few charisma points. Gah!

Opus:  “See Larry, I just can’t stand that director.  He’s got eleven cats and I just cannot handle another afternoon spent rolling the lint off his wardrobe.  Even his Plumbob has lint on it” *sighs*  “Oh flipflop, just talking about it I can feel myself starting to panic.  I’m so glad the day is over and I can go home and relax.”

Larry: “Opus, I just picked you up.  Its only 8:45 AM.  We haven’t even started work for the day.”

Opus:  *chokes*  “I need some coffee.”

Poor Opus.  it will get better, I promise!  (yeah, no it won’t, not for a looooong time, but I am getting ahead of myself)

———-

Gertie spends her days fulfilling wishes and skilling up for when she goes back to work.  They do not have any money at all.  In fact, in order to buy the bare minimum for the baby, I had to sell some of their furniture from the house and take down a few inside walls.  But, that worked and they get a crib, highchair, potty, and both little skill toys for the baby.  Gertie has a good pregnancy.  She rolls wishes to read pregnancy books and to have Opus do the same.  So, off she goes to the library since we are broke and can’t drop $270 Simoleons , or whatever it is, on a book.

Gertie:  “I was excited to be pregnant until I started reading this book.  I mean, two hours of labor?  That sounds painful!”

Yeah, try 34 hours, then we’ll talk.

Gertie: O___o

Oh, to be a Sim.

———-

Since they have money troubles, I send Gertie around town looking for seeds so Gertrude can start a garden in their little back yard.

Gertie:  “Should  I really be doing this?  I AM pregnant after all, remember Producer lady?  Seems like I should be somewhere with my feet propped up and Opus rubbing my bunions”

Ugh.  But yes, I know you are with child.  And there is no reason why you can’t garden.  It’s good for you.  Think of the fresh, organic food you’ll be feeding your child.  And the money we’ll be saving on food bills.

Gertie:  “Hmm. I guess.  But really, can I just go back to the library?  It has air-conditioner and nice fluffy couches!”

Nope.  Keep picking.  Bananas are filled with potassium, great for growing babies!

———-

I send Opus to the karaoke bar again to try and meet some people to practice his charisma, fill some wishes and try and get a celebrity point.

Opus:  “Booo!  You suck!”

Opus Hurkyferd!  That is rude! I just gave that townie Sim a deliberately bad makeover for doing the same thing!

Opus: “Welll, it won’t be so easy with me, I mean I’ve got these natural good looks.  you could put anything on me and I would still look the same.”

I’d have to agree with the last part of that statement, yes.  XD

———-

When I scroll back to Gertie, she is doing this:

Is that your picnic basket, because I don’t remember buying one.

Gertie:  “Heck no, these things are expensive!  Some couple laid this out, then went to use the port-a-potty so I decided just to help myself.”

Gertie!  You’re picnic-crashing!

Gertie:  “Doesn’t the watermelon look delicious?”

Way to dodge the issue, Gertie.

———-

And that is all we have for this time.  Next up:  A baby!  Who will start Generation 1 of the Hurkyferd Prettacy?  Will he/she be our heir? Will Gertie ever go back to work?  Will Opus ever stop being a stressed-out mess at the end of the work day?  Join us again and find out.
Thanks for reading and hey,  leave me a comment if you do.  I’d love to  hear from you 🙂


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Chapter 0.1 – Doohickey’s and Plumbobs

Here they are in all their glory. Meet Opus and Gertrude Hurkyferd.  Two crazy kids from the small town of Twinbook trying to make it as big stars in Starlight Shores  – the closest thing to Hollyweird in the Simverse.

Opus:  “Nomnomnomfacenom”

Gertrude: “Nonom.. Baby you’re the bandaid on my bleeding heart…nomnomfacenom”

Um, ew?  Okay guys, let’s break it up long enough for proper introductions, mkay?

Gertie: “Me first, me first!  I am the pretty one after all”  *bats nonexistent eyelashes* (I know they are nonexistent because I didn’t give her any.  What?  This is a Prettacy after all)

I picked her traits.

Gertie:  “OMG, is it starting, Opus?  I can’t believe it’s really starting!  I can’t believe we got our very own reality show on SimTV!”

Ohhhkay, well, sure that’s exactly what this is.  A reality show. And I’m your Producer and Host.

Gertie:  “Oh my good gravy, what the Hellman’s is that green doohickey above my hubby’s head?”

Gertie: “I’ll get it, Opus!  You just run for your life!”

No, no.  Don’t be afraid.  It’s called a Plumbob. A very special camera/microphone combo.  VERY advanced technology.  Don’t touch it!

Gertie:  “Hmph.  That ain’t no way to be talking to a reality STAR now is it, I outta give you a swift backhand.”  *fluffs hair*  “Neverminds you that, you like my tan?  I’ve been going to the spray tan parlor back in Twinbrook?  And using my at home tanners.  I’ve got four different ones I use three times a day and my own special one invented for me by my uncle Cletus.  He’s a scientist”

You don’t say?  Why, I’d never know it wasn’t a real tan unless you told me.  It looks so natural. You hardly notice the orange tint, really.  However, I’m having a hard time believing you have anyone in your family tree anywhere close to a scientist, but we’ll go with it.

Gertrude:  “I don’t like your attitude Producer lady.  I might just walk off this here lot before you even get a chance to air my story.  I AM the Snookie of Starlight Shores after all.  You DO know who Snookie is, right?”

*sigh* Unfortunately I know who Snookie is.  But I can proudly say I’ve never watched one millisecond of that train-wreck of a show I refuse to type the name of here lest some Googler somewhere find my blog – er – find this Reality Show that way.

Gertie: “Hey, I don’t like how you italicized that word, You’re weird.  As I was saying, Snookie is my TV IDOL. I got this tat between my twins to represent her.”

Twins?  I don’t even want to know.  You mean that pink dolphin on your chest?

Gertrude:  “Are you touched in the head?  Of course!  Ever’one knows that Snookie is a member of the DERPS….”. *sighs*  “The Dolphins Exterminating Really Pernicious Sims – we’re a secret society against secret societies!  My uncle Cletus, the genius, he taught me all about them growing up.  They fight evil.  I am a member.  I signed up online – this is our signal”  *strangles self*  “We do this to let each other know we’re on the level.”

Hmm..did anyone research the word DERP before you used that for your acronym?

Gertie: “You do know about the conspiracy of the tree-men and half-llama people, right?  They are made up of most of the rich folks and politicians.  They come from underground caves and they’re trying to control the world. Some of them are even celebrities in disguise.  Trying to send their evil messages in secret eye-blink codes and hairstyles n stuff.  I read it in my Daily True News magazine.”

Opus:  “Oh, Gertrude, don’t start with that Daily True News nonsense.”

Finally, a voice of reason.

Opus:  “We all know that it’s the Weekly Tales of the Weird that tells the real stories.”

I forgot, they both have the Insane trait this being an ISBI Prettacy.  That reminds me, we need to introduce our other co-founder, Opus Hurkyferd:

Opus:  “Look there Gertrude, we have our very own Character Cards.  I wonder if they can give me some of those to hand out when I go to auditions and the like.”

Speaking of auditions, don’t you two think it is about time you head off and apply for some jobs?  After the house and furniture, you only have about 200 Simoleons to your name.  And hey, we’re going to get the cameras rolling now so let’s keep the chitchat between yourselves and the crew (meaning ME) to a minimum.  You go on and do that magical stuff you do and we’ll just add the boring commentary.

Gertie:  *rolls wish to get job in cooking career*   (Her first wish!)

Gertie:  “I’m off to the Corporate Tower Restaurant – or whatever its called.  I’m going to be the chef!  Hey, Mr. CombOver cabbie, you’re driving a 5 Star Chef and Reality Star.  Do you think you could speed it up or use your sirens to get through traffic or something?’

Cabbie: *Holy Batman, Jeffrey, don’t make eye contact don’t make eye contact….I’ve never seen such a hideous creature.  Even ON reality TV*   “Um, I’m sorry m’am, I don’t have a siren.  I’m driving a cab not a police car”

Gertrude:  “Hurmph.  Don’t you M’AM me.  I’m the YA here. You aren’t fooling anyone by brushing those three extra-long hairs over the top of your head, you know.  By the way, you know where I can find a spray tan place around here?  A girl’s gotta keep her color up.  Plus, my husband?  He’s gonna be an Simmy Winning Actor one day.”

Gertie, you know you aren’t going to START your career as a 5-Star Chef, right?  That is your Lifetime Wish.  It is going to take years of hard work and dedication to get to the top.  And seeing as you don’t have a car, maybe you should be a bit more polite to the Starlight Shores cab drivers.

Gertie: *Ignores and runs inside building*  “I hope they give me one of those big white paper hats.  Opus said he wants me to wear it when we woohoo later”

TMI Alert!  TMI Alert!  This is (sort of) a family show, let’s keep the Woohoo details to ourselves, yes?

Meanwhile, Opus takes to the computer to see if any of the Film Studio’s are hiring.

Opus:  “My high school drama teacher moved out here halfway through my freshman year. Something about a nervous breakdown.  Anyway, he told me if I ever made it to Starlight Shores to look him up.  We’re friends on Simbook online and he just sent me a note – the studio he works for is hiring!

That’s great, is he a director or something?

Opus:  “Not yet.  Right now he is Silas Treehorn’s umbrella holder.  You know who Silas Treehorn is, right?  Only one of the TOP producers in Starlight Shores.

Umbrella Holder?

Opus: “Oh yes,  very prestigious job.  The sun shines almost 100% of the time out here.  It is very important to protect your skin from damaging rays. *panics*  DON’T tell Gertie I said that!  She just loves her tans – real or fake.  She doesn’t know this, but I switched  out one of her self-tanners with 50 SPF.  I do it all the time.  Don’t put this on the show!  Back to the umbrellas – you know, only peasants like us hold our own parasols.  With his hands free, Mr. Treehorn can answer texts, phone calls and sift through headshots – like mine.  Now, my interview is in an hour, I need to go prep myself.”

Opus uses the small cheap bathroom mirror to gussy up and practice Charisma.  It can’t hurt to have at least one skill point before he goes off to try to make a good impression.

Opus:  “Gertie got her job!  She isn’t too happy she didn’t get the chef position.  In fact, they laughed at her and handed her a mop.  I  told her to keep her chin up!  Everyone has to start somewhere.  Besides, they don’t realize she is a Natural Cook.  She may not have any Cooking skill points, but she’s been cooking for me back in Twinbrook since we were in high school.  She’ll knock ’em dead. Once they let her cook.”

Cabbie:  *What the heck is the deal with this dude?  I’m retired but my son called me earlier and told me he’d been traumatized by some crazy-looking broad earlier. What’s the world coming to?*  “Where to, sir?” *Rolls wish to bleach eyeballs*

Opus:  “Film Studio, please Mr. Cabdriver.  You may not know it, but you are transporting the future Superstar Actor of Starlight Shores.   Oh, and never mind the green floaty diamonds.  Those are just cameras.  We’re being filmed for a new reality show – The Hurkyferd Prettacy.  I know Gertie and I are lookers, Gertrude that’s my wife, but to have our own show announce it to the world?  Life is good, life is good.”

Aw, I like Opus.  He may be wonky looking but he seems to have a lot of heart. I like Gertie, too. It’s just that Diva trait that makes her hard to handle sometimes.

A few minutes later (because that’s all it takes as a Sim to get a Job.  You want to work here?  Great!  Just show up, enter the building and the job is yours!)
Opus emerges with thoughts of Simmy Awards dancing in his head.

Opus:  “I did it! They hired me!  I have to start as a Background Extra, but I get to be in productions right away! The told me I have a very interesting look.  I knew I would make it!  The pay isn’t much and I will have to run errands like fetching lunch and rolling the lint off the director’s clothes on a daily basis, but it doesn’t matter.  Plumbob Pictures will never be the same!  And, to put the cheery on top of this grand day that is like a giant ice cream sundae, they don’t mind me being in the Reality Show. “

Really?  you don’t say.

Opus:  “Yep, as long as I don’t bring the cameras to work inside the studio, it’s all good.  Golly, I can’t wait to call our friends and families back in Twinbrook.  Heck, I’m going to update my Simbook status as soon as I get home!”

Back at home, Gertrude has some visitors. Seems the local Welcome Wagon has shown up at their modest abode to greet the new couple to Starlight Shores.   SS Townies Edward Gooder, Javed Meir and Kirsten Law (yeah, I Master Controller’d her hair in the Stylist option.  *grins*  It’s going to be happening a lot as we go.  There are some EA hairstyles I just cannot tolerate and anyone who knows me knows I have a HUGE hair addiction. I cannot help it.  If I see a hair I like I MUST HAVE IT IN MY GAME!!)

Okay, sorry for the hair tangent.  As I was saying, Welcome Wagon showed up and Gertie was excited to have the chance to show off her new home and chat about her new job.  And show off her natural Fabulousness, of course!  Gotta love a Diva.

Lord help poor Edward Gooder, for he must be blind.  He Immediately starts flirting with Gertie while Kirsten and Javed chat by the door.

Edward:  “Hey baby, you look good in the unicorn tank top. I like the way I can see the outline of your muffin top through the thin, cheap fabric.”

Gertie: “What?  I’m flattered.  I know I am a magnetic beauty but, Mr. Gooder?  You know I am married.  I already told you.  Opus will be home now any minute.  Now excuse me while I go make some dinner for us all with those nice vegetables you brought me from the Farmer’s Market.”

Edward:  “Marriage, that’s just a piece of paper.  You’ll find plenty of people in this town who don’t really pay too much mind to marriage.  Now tell be Gertie, what’s your sign?”

Maybe I just should have started this Prettacy with Gertrude?  Damn, isn’t this Starlight Shores where the pretty and shallow come to play?  Poor Edward must be a Sims version of this guy:

A few seconds later, THIS happens:

Edward:  “Ta-Da!  Oh Gertie, you’re more beautiful than these fragrant blooms.  Please accept these as a token of my affection.”

Gertie:  “What the what?  First of all, where in the holy frog bottoms did you get those flowers from?  No – never mind, I don’t think I want to know.  But now you’ve gone too far.”

Person Person Minus!

Gertie shoos everyone over to their little couch to watch TV while she whips up a quick meal of Autumn Salad.  She overhears Kirsten cackling and pestering Edward about the flowers.  She doesn’t seem like a very nice person.

Gertie: *Hrmph,  Who does she think she is.  This is my house. If anyone is going to make fun of Edward, why that would be me.*

Food is served and Kirsten continues on her ranting.  This time about Gertie’s cooking.

Kirsten:  “Hm.  This salad takes like fish.  What kind is in here?”

Gertie: “What?  There’s no fish in here.  Its Autumn Salad. Don’t you Starlight Shores people know what’s in Autumn Salad?

Kirsten: *picks through food*  “Oh, yes I see now.  It must be these cheap bowls and flatware. Either that or that crappy set of appliances you have over there need a good cleaning.  Of course, I have a maid for that kind of thing.  But living in a shack – I mean a cottage like this, you wouldn’t need one of those.”

Gertie:  *gives Kirsten stink eye*  “Well, I don’t know about that.  We paid a pretty penny for this little house. And you’re really annoying me.”

Door opens and in steps Opus.

Gertie:  “And my husband won’t have that kind of talk about his woman.  Now excuse me while I go clean up. A real woman can take care of her family all by herself.  *rolls wish for butler*

Hahaaa haa Gertie.  Not going to happen.  You and Opus have like 200 Simoleons to your name and aren’t going to be making a lot of money.  Not for a long time, so let’s tuck that Butler wish deep in our pocket and save it for a rainy day.  A rainy day about 20 years from now, if ever.

While Opus meets their guests, Kirsten skulks around the house scaring the begeezus out of everyone.  Including the living room wall.

Kirsten:  “BlarghblarghBOO!”

No, not really.  She just decided to scare the living daylights out of the person in the house most annoyed with her at the moment.

Gertie: “OMG!  She nearly scared the tattoo right off of my chest.  Good gravy Kirsten, why can’t you settle down?”

Kirsten:  “Haahaa.  You losers think I am really here by my own choosing?  I only signed up for the Welcome Wagon for the freebies we get.  You know, the basket we brought you?  Well, I like to keep some of that for myself.  In fact, I always skim off the best stuff.  Enjoy your bruised bananas and wilted lettuce.”

Yikes!  She doesn’t even need to sneak up on anyone.  Look at that face.  Man, my Prettacy is in deep trouble if that woman is any sign of the genetics I can expect to see in Starlight Shores.

Gertie: “Ooh, I don’t like that woman.  If I had a rock right now she’s be in serious trouble.” *goes into stealth mode*

Gertie:  “BOOGAGOOGABOO!”

Kirsten: “Oh my good Plumbob!:”

Gertie: “Ah, the sweet taste of revenge.”

Opus: “Yeah, that’s my wife!”

After saying goodbye to their visitors, Gertie and Opus clean up the house and share their excitement for their new jobs, both starting the next day.

They snuggle on the bed and relax in the glow of their love.  Hey now you two – no babies yet!  Gertie needs to work a week or two so you can make some money.  You are pretty much broke, so we need two incomes.

Opus:  Yeah, well you can’t stop our love, even with that scary floating diamond-thingy.

And that wraps up our first post – I mean episode!  Not too bad a start for our young couple.  They both have jobs, they met some people (albeit two out of three of them were looney toons) and have settled into their new home.   Tune in next time to see what happens.  Will Opus get his job?  Will Gertie realize she really *isn’t* the chef?  Will there be babies despite their desperate need for money?

See you soon and thanks for reading!


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Forgot to Mention

Already I forgot something and I just started.  I can tell I am going to be SO good at this. heh.  So, since I am doing things differently, my Generations are kind of messed up.  I am starting on Generation 0.  So, lots of other people do this.  What is so unique about that?  Here is where mine might differ a bit.  I started with TWO ugly Sims, both controllable in this Generation of my ISBI.  They are married and will have children.  It is one of THESE children that will truly start the Prettacy.  Reason being, I wanted to start with BOTH sides of the gene pool filled with questionable features. Rather than starting with one goofy-looking slob and marrying a decent-looking one right off the bat, I thought I would shake things up.  So Generation 1, the actual *first* Sim to start trying to get pretty, will be one of my Gen 0 children and we want she/he to be ugly, ugly as possible.  Totally confused yet?

That makes two of us.  Just remember this – first ugly, then pretty.  If I could write it out in a mathematical equation, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here writing a Sims blog, but that is neither here nor there.

So for the children of my first two Sims, we’ll be voting for the UGLIEST Sim whereas the rest will be all about the lovelies.

Okay, now on to our regularly scheduled programming.


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Welcome and All that Good Stuff (Rules, etc)

Welcome to the Hurkyferd Prettacy ISBI.  This is my feeble attempt to tell the tale of my Sims as they work their way through 10 Generations of messed up genetics.

For anyone that doesn’t know, a Prettacy is where you take an ugly Sim (in my case, two ugly Sims) and try and get a decent looking one by the time your 10th Generation reaches YA.

The ISBI (I’m Surrounded by Idiots) component is a form of self-flagellation.  This is where you are only allowed to control your current Heir/Torch Holder.  That means all other Sims in your household are going to be doing their own thing.  No biggie, right?  Wrong.  You see the ISBI has a point system so every time your non-controllable (or even your controllable) Sims do something like pee themselves, pass out or fail a class, you get dinged.  I have Free Will set to it’s highest, but if you’ve played the Sims (which I kind of assume you have if you’re reading this but if not, hey go buy a copy, it’s fun!!) you know that doesn’t mean they’ll do what they’re supposed to do.  Thus, the rules.  There are a bunch of different versions.  There are some here and some more here (FABULOUS Sims 3 Legacy Writer there named Mariah, I hesitate to send you there because you just may never come back! But even if you don’t I would be happy because she is wonderful)  And even more here (those may be the original – at least back for Sims 2).  I will be playing my own variation which are as follows:

1.  Each generation I only control the Heir/Torch Holder.  This means I cannot control spouses, children or anyone else living in the Legacy household.

2.  Every generation must have at least 2 children.  They can have more but must have 2.  My heir MUST be a child born from the heir and their spouse, due to this being a Prettacy. Spouses can be any combo of sexes.  I’ll go with the flow depending on where my game takes me and what my Sim seems to like.

3.  I can send the children to the mirror to change hair/dresser to change clothes/use MC to send them to Stylist (this IS the Sims  – no one grows up with good hair or outfits) but I CANNOT and WILL NOT take them back to CAS to change genetics in any way. That would defeat the entire purpose of a Prettacy, non?

4.  At some point while the kids are all still younger than YA, I have to pick an heir. I will hold an heir poll either here or on forum or any combination thereof with the caveat that this IS a Prettacy as much as it is an ISBI.  It may stink, but here as in life as mainstream media would have us believe, pretty is everything.  If I am unsatisfied with the results, I have the right to override. I MUST HAVE THE PRETTAH!

5.  Once they are up to YA, all non-heir children must be moved out within a day or so of their aging up.  Oh, and I won’t age anyone up early.  I have lifespan set to a custom amount I like (I think it is 116 Sim days or some such).

6. Since this is an ISBI, if my heir dies, GAME OVER.  Well, technically it will be but if I want to keep playing (and writing), I may grab one of the spares and continue without keeping score and with the knowledge that I SUCK at ISBI’s.

7.  Many ISBI’s are based on the notion that all Sims in the Legacy family have the Insane trait.  Not so much this one.  My founders both have the Insane trait, but I am not requiring that every single Sim in the family has this trait.  I’ve done the “genetic” trait before with a multi-generational family and by the 3rd Gen I was ready to poke my eyes out from watching the same thing over and over (the trait was Virtuoso.  Good Lord I tell you everyone was whipping out a guitar every 2 seconds).  HOWEVER – if any of the children have to randomize their traits due to bad pregnancy, rough childhood or extra-angsty teen years and they get Insane randomly, they automatically become heir.  If more than one child does this, there will be a vote.

8.  Once a life-stage, I can send the NHS (Non-Heir Sims) to do one action. Whether that be telling them to go to the damn bathroom before they wet themselves, sending little truant kiddos to school, or having them Try for a Baby (I need Heirs after all), I get one freebie.  And I’m sure I’ll use it.

9.  I can have my Heirs marry whomever I choose in my town – BUT – they have to be born in the game.  This can include offspring of Sims provided by the game, offspring of Sims I make and move into the world or offspring of Sims I might get from other people and pop into my game. I don’t think I’ve ever typed the word offspring so many times. That’s a weird word, isn’t it?  Offspring.  Sounds like a gymnastic move.  Maybe I’ve just got the Olympics on my mind since the London 2012 Olympics are going on right now.   Exception to this Rule:  My Generation One Heir will marry a townie-born, unless the only choice is to marry a child of one of my user-created Sims.

10.  Spouses and teens can have jobs and getting said jobs does not count towards Rule #8.  Come on, we all know you need money to survive in this capitalistic society we live in, and Sims are no different.  I won’t have the Social Worker taking my kids because we can’t afford food.  Now, this doesn’t mean I can queue up the action to go to work.  They have to do that on their own, but if we need the income, I’ll let them have at it.  Caveat to this Rule:  If an Heir’s spouse comes in with a job that is user Controlled (i.e. Ambitions, Showtime) I can change it to one I don’t have to control since I cannot re: these rules.

11.  50/50 Wish Rule:  For the Heirs/TH I promise to fulfill at least 50 percent of the wishes they roll.  The other 50 percent I can ditch if I so choose.  I know, I know, many hardcore Legacy players are calling me a wimp on this one but I’m already dealing with some hella ugly genes AND an ISBI.  I want this to be somewhat enjoyable if I’m going to make it 10 Generations and still have my wits about me.

12. I wanted to play in Starlight Shores instead of Sunset Valley so instead of following Pinstar’s Legacy challenge rules (go here) and giving them the whole “Humble Beginnings” of a giant lot, one bed, no walls etc – I bought a house and some stuff that cost them all but about $200 of their Simoleons.  Its a shit shack, trust me.  There’s only one bedroom and its in the scariest neighborhood in Starlight Shores (more about that as the story unfolds but TRUST, it’s got some creeper neighbors).

13.  A caveat to the above : When the family gets big enough and has enough funds, I reserve the right to move them to a more suitable Legacy-type lot.  I also reserve the right to move the family to another World/Town if I need or want to.  Any of you who’ve played long legacies know old Save Files can get borked.  If I need to (heck, if I want to) I’ll move the Hurkyferds.  Currently I have no plans to do so and would like to stay in Starlight Shores, but I’m starting to feel like it is pretty small and Lucky Palms has been calling my name lately.  Heh.

14. Cheats – not gonna do it.  This means no dragging the motive bars up if someone is about to pass out and no Motherloding cash into the house.  I do play with Twallen’s Master Controller and Story Progression, but those are used to keep the town alive and help with issues. I will Resetsim when needed.  I once had one of my Sims at a wedding stand and clap manically for 8 hours, long after the vows were said, the cake was cut and the marriage consummated. Yeah, not going to let my Sims die because they are stuck somewhere due to game bugs or routing issues.

15.  (Sorry, this is longer than I thought it would be, sheesh!) Lifetime Rewards – I will use them.  If I can manage to earn LTR points for my Sims, I will cash them in for useful things like Inheritance, Simbots and the like.  I would imagine the only one getting enough LTR points for any type of decent reward will be the Heir so I’m using them!

16.  Wishes for NHP – I will check the wishes for the Non-Heir Players from time to time and lock some in for them.  However, unless I use my “One action per Life-stage” rule to grant them, I can’t do anything about fulfilling them. This also means I will allow myself to click on the NHPs so I can access their panels.  I can also use things from their inventories, or place things in there if I want.  Sleeping bags are a must for any ISBI!

17,439.  There are points (finally  – the last bit!) scored and taken away in all of this.  I will do my best to keep track of points but I’m not the best at this kind of thing.  That said, here is the breakdown:
For each Sim failing school – 5
*For every game induced visit from a police officer, firefighter or babysitter when you don’t call them but the game makes them come, EXCLUDING babysitters who come when your Sim goes to Hospital to give birth cause, come on, its childbirth. (I have a wee one and I know childbirth’s no picnic so I feel a Sim deserves a babysitter during labor and delivery if needed) – 5
Passing Out – 5
Accidental Deaths – 10
Social Worker Visit – 15
Every Birth + 5
Every Twin Birth +10
Every Triplet Birth +15
Fulfilling LTW +40
For each Sim that gets on the honor roll+5
Randomizing every LTW choice and trait for a whole generation of children +10 (I doubt I’ll do this because if I was able to take care of my Sims enough that the game lets me pick traits, I probably will)
Not using spares Happiness points for a generation +10
Every 100 000 dollars +20
Having an NPS Spouse reach the top of their career +10

*There is some talk in some rules about having to call Firefighters when you have Ambitions due to the career addition.  I’m not sure about this one so I”l try it out in game, if needs be.  I won’t cheat, don’t worry.

And that’s it! If you made it this far, here have some cake!

Okay, so I can’t give you cake seeing as I am on this side of the internet and you’re on THAT side, but if you do have cake (or cookies or cupcakes or salami – whatever your yummies of choice is), go ahead, reward yourself.  This was a long set of rules!

Now, on to the madness! Starlight Shores will never look the same!

(Note: I’ve made this post into a Page, so you can access it from the top Menu just incase you really want to read ALL OF THIS OVER AGAIN.  Did I already mention self-flagellation?  Yeah?  Okay, fair enough.)