Chapter 0.9 – Torture Math

October 5, 2012 by dedlocklady 10 Comments

Chapter 0.9 of the Hurkyferd Prettacy is on tap!  To review where we were last time – Uli had her childhood birthday as did her IF Ukelele, Gus skilled some more and baby Atticus was born.

———-

Another day in the Hurkyferd house.  Opus comes home from work and makes a beeline for little Gus.  Since Gertrude spends so much time in the garden these days, I’ve made a little skill area off to the side for the kids with the Toddler skill books and toys, as well as a little potty.

Opus:  “How’s my little man?”

Gus:  “Me hewp mama in garden!”

Yeah, I’m not sure why Gus is skilling in that picture, or what he is skilling on?  As far as I know Toddlers don’t skill from being held but okay.

Opus: “You’re getting so big Gus!  Soon Daddy won’t be able to hold you!”

Could that be foreshadowing??  Dun dun duuuunnnnn! Seriously, though, Opus is an amazing father.  He is full of autonomous actions for his kids.  Its very sweet.

———-

Gertie wraps up a marathon gardening session.  (BTW, that is the Creeper House in the background – see the giant Robot in the backyard?  If you have Starlight Shores, go check it out – inside and outside.  I wasn’t kidding – it is creeeeeeeepy!)

Gertrude:  “So I was thinking, I’m not so worried about my Lifetime Wish anymore.  Can I pleeeeassse quit my job?”

You still have a job?

Gertie:  “Of course I do!  I’m still upset about that awful skully cap I have to wear.  It ruins my bump.”

Its been so long since Gertie’s been to work, I totally and completely forgot she even *had* a job.  But no, Gertie, you can’t quit. We need that 100 Simoleons of maternity pay I obviously ignored the pop-ups for – most certainly if you guys are going to move ANYTIME soon.

Gertie:  “You know, I really should be living in one of those mansions up in the Starlight Shores Hills.”  *sighs*

We should all be Gertie, we *all* should be.

———-

Uli continues to be the child I love the most of any Sim child I’ve ever had.

Yes!  A child that autonomously cleans!

Uli: “Mr. Plate needs to be washed.  Did you know the chemical compounds in the dish soap break down the binding agents of the rendered fat from the shortening in the cake frosting, therefore causing them to dissolve?  However -“

*Headspin*   She’s a smart little cookie, too!  Now lets see if she can figure out how to GET IN THE FLIPPIN’ SHOWER!  She still hasn’t taken a shower.  Notice the green cloud still hovering around her.

UKELELE – I’M LOOKING AT YOU!

———–

Gertrude is doing a great job with little Atticus.  In fact, he is the only baby so far that she rolls daily wants for.  Cuddling, etc – she’s all about the Nooboo.

Gertie:  “Aww, I’m sorry I wished you were a little girl, Atticus.  Now be a big boy and drink your Mountain Dew!”

Hey – babies shouldn’t be drinking soda!

Gertie: “I know, I’m joking.  Although  – can you stop the Plumbob camera for a minute now?”

Suuuuuure.  *crosses fingers behind back* Its off.  Go on.

Gertie:  “If I wasn’t on this here reality show, I wouldn’t hesitate to use my mama’s ways.  You know, she used to put coffee in our bottles to keep us up during the day so we’d sleep at night.  And we started drinking pop real early.  And we all turned out just fine.  So, don’t be giving me lectures on what to give babies.”  *tosses hair*  “Why I was eating fried steak and 6 eggs every day for breakfast before I even said my first word. “

*stares*

Gertie:  “What?  I was born with all my teeth!  Doc Turner said he’d never seen nothing like it!”

Gertie, there is no one like you in the world, I just know it.

Gertie:  “Perfection is a rarity, you know.”

Oh yes, you go girl!

———–

Ukelele continues to make things hard for me, although Uli loves it.

Ukelele:  “I know its almost 11 PM on a school night, but I’ve been thinking that we haven’t spent enough time together.”

Uli:  “I know!  10 hours of tag just isn’t enough!  I’m so glad I have you, Ukelele.  My dad is so busy with work and my mom with the babies and her garden.”

Yes, I am glad Uli has Ukelele for her social, too.  HOWEVER, school starts tomorrow and I’m serious about Uli getting her homework done, now.  We don’t want to see the Social Worker for failing grades.

———-

Fast forward to 12:30 AM….

Uli:  “Phew!  I gotta catch my breath.”  *pants*  You got me that time Ukelele!”

Ukelele:  “You’re it!”

Uli: “I guess.”  *yawns*  “I’m so tried.  You think maybe we should go to bed?  I do need to go to school in the morning.”

Ukelele:  “Okay, maybe we should go in the house, then.”

Haleluah!

Ukelele:  “And have a pillow fight!”  *runs off*  “Last one inside is a dirty egg!”

Gah!!!!!

———-

Gertie finishes up a midnight feeding for baby Atticus and realizes Uli isn’t in the kid’s room.

Gertie:  “Uli!  Its almost 1 in the morning!  Get on in the house and go to bed.  And who in the world were you talking to?”  *gets paranoid*  “It wasn’t the trees or someone who looked like a llama, was it?”

Uli:  *giggles*  “No, mama.  It was just my Imaginary Friend, Ukelele!” *pulls out doll*  “See?  He’s right here.”

Gertie: “Uli, that’s just that weird looking doll Opus’ great-great Aunt Bertha sent for you when you were born.  Now, stop this silliness and come in in the house!”

Uli:  “No mama, Ukelele is REAL.”  *pouts*  “This is just his doll form.”  *puts doll on ground*

Ukelele:  *pops into air*  “We pillow fighting now?”

Gertie:  “Uli May Hurkyferd.  You stop this foolishness right now.”

Uli:  “Well, maybe if you and dad spent more time with my, I wouldn’t have to have an Imaginary Friend”

Ukelele:  “Hey, I’m real, hello?  Remember me?  We were going to pillow fight?”

Gertie:  “Oh, Uli.  Mama’s sorry if you are lonely.”  *hugs*  “You’re my specail little girl, you know that?”

Uli:  *hugs*  “Thank you mommy, I love you!”

Gertie:  “Enough to let mama sign you up for the Girlz Glamour-n-Glitz pageant next weekend in Bridgeport?”

Gertie!  Way to ruin a tender moment there.

Uli:  “Aw, mama I hate all that stuff.”

———-

The next morning Gertie has a breakdown.

Gertie: “OMG, my little girl is all grown up!  I can’t believe she is already going to school!”

She sure is, but I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about. She is a smart as they come.

Gertie: “No, you don’t understand.  I’m talking about ME!”  *hyperventilating*  “All my babies are going to start getting big.”

Yes, that is what happens.  Not sure where you’re going with this…

Gertie:  “Duh!  Wrinkles!  This beautiful, tan gorgeous skin – ruined by wrinkles and saggy bits and urgh.  I think I am going to be sick!”

SMH.  Gertie, we all get older.  There’s not much we can do about it.  Embrace it!  Besides, you haven’t even had your Adult birthday yet.  Relax before you whip yourself into a Joan Rivers-like frenzy and end up with your face pulled so tight you need someone to slap you in the back of the head to blink.

Gertie: “I think I need to get some more sun to make myself feel better.”

I’m not even going to say anything.

———-

I go to check on our little school girl and find this.  Of course!

Uli:  “Ooooof”

Ukelele: “Gotcha!  Let’s see if we can beat our record and play tag for 11 hours today!

Uli:  “Haha Ukelele.  But I can’t today.  I have school!”

Ukelele:  “Do you have to go?”

YES she does.  Now leave the child alone so she can get ready.

———-

I forgot to introduce our newest Hurkyferd!

Nope, not a baby.  Did I fool you for 2 seconds?

Meet Ulyssa Hurkyferd!  Gertie found her while out on one of her meteor/gem/rock/seed seeking missions.  Since I don’t have Pets, I figured this would have to do for now.

Ulyssa:  “What’s that supposed to mean?  Sorry if I’m not a cute little puppy or a bouncy little kitten.  If you didn’t want me then you could have done what you should have done – which is leave me to live my life in the wild.”

Wow.  I think Gertie caught herself a Diva Ladybug.  Perfect.

———–

Uli tears herself away from pillow fighting in time to eat breakfast before school.  Sadly, I had to use Uli’s ONE child action I am allowed to cancel the pillow fight so she could refocus and eat.

She chose ice cream.

Uli:  “I like this!  I can have ice cream whenever I want!”

Grr…stupid ISBI…my poor little Uli is eating ice cream for breakfast because I can’t control her!  I don’t know if I’m going to make it through this whole thing without tearing my hair out!

———–

While Gertie takes a shower, Opus spends some time with the children.

Opus:  OMG

Uli:  “Yummy yummy chocolate-y goodness!  BEST.BREAKFAST.EVER!”

Atticus:  “ZZzzzzzzzz”   *makes a poopy*

Gus:  *screams at top of lungs*  “I made a poooooooopyyyyyyyy!!!!!”

Opus:  “Oh good gravy, what do I do first?”

Well, since the baby is still asleep, and you can’t really do much about Uli, maybe Gus?

Opus:  “Shhhhushhh, Daddy loves his little Gus.”  *changes diaper*

Atticus:  *snores*

Gus:  “Me go play with Buddy, now?”

Yes.  I should mention this.  Funny the way things work, isn’t it?  When I got out Atticus’ new Invisible Friend, it appeared in his crib.  The next night when Opus and Gertie put the boys down to bed, suddenly an IF showed up in GUS’ BED TOO!!!!  WTH??

So, let’s take a tally, shall we?

1 ISBI

+

3 Kids

+

3 Imaginary Friends =

_________________

ONE INSANE SIMMER!!!!  That’s what I call Torture Math.  *cries*

———-

Gus:  “Me wike eat fingers!!”

No, buddy you’ll need those later on to do things like write and eat. Very useful things those fingers!

Gus:  “Me wike eat book!”

Another useful invention!  Keep up the autonomous skilling bud, you’re doing great!  He is!  I must say as toddlers go, he isn’t as calm as Uli as he likes to scream it up every once in a while, but he’s almost as good at skilling as Uli.  *almost*

————
As evening approaches, Gertie wraps up her gardening.  It is really progressing nicely!

Gertie:  “I decided to garden in my Formal Wear today.”

Yes, nothing like a pair of high heels sinking in the fertilizer to make one feel *fancy*.

Gertie:  “You know, anytime is the right time to wear a cocktail dress.  My Aunt Hettie taught me all about style.  She told me the only reason its called a cocktail dress is because when you put it on, it immediately becomes Happy Hour!”

Oh really?  I might like this Aunt Hettie.

Gertie:  “Yep.  As she always says ‘Its 5 o’clock somewhere'”

Gertie:  “Whew!  I’m all done.  Everybody say ‘hay-oh, hay-oh’ ”  *dances*

Thought Balloon Sunshine:  “Heeeellllpppp meeeee, I’m meeeeelllttiiinggg!!!”  *dies from stench of Gertie’s pits*

Might be time for a shower there, Gertrude.

Gertie:  “To be or not to be, that is the question…. See?  I know things.  I learned about Omlette in school.”

Maybe we should leave the acting to Opus?  He’s coming along a bit better these days.  He’s only getting one of the stress moodlets now!

Robot at Creeper Neighbor’s House:  *photobombs*

———-

With that lovely image burned into your retinas, we’ll call it a wrap!  Next time – will we get to see baby Atticus’ genetics?  Will Gertie get her dream of a house that works?  Tune in next time to find out.  As always, thank you so much for following along with my goofy Sims.  And please feel free to leave me a message.  I appreciate every one I get!  See you next time 🙂

———-

Points:

Babies Born: 3 = 15 points

Total Points = 15